Author: tom

Saturday Reject: BLGN & Mirex – Champion

“Doing his best Rag’n’Bone Man impression.”

Tim: It struck me the other day that we’ve only one week left to go until the big day, yet as far as rejects go we’ve barely set foot outside Scandinavia. Here’s Belarus’s very, very close runner-up, doing his finest Rag’n’Bone Man impression.

Tim: Now, you might’ve thought that with that intro I’d be mocking him, or accusing him of being unoriginal, but no, not at all: I think this is a genuinely great song, in a style that works very well when it’s done properly.

Tom: You’re not wrong. That’s a bold style to choose: if you miss one note or if you slur your words, you’re going to end up being all Shooting Stars Club Singer. He gets close sometimes, but I can see why you think it’s a good choice.

Tim: And here, it really is. I don’t want to speak for Mr Bone Man–

Tom: “Rag’n’” to his friends.

Tim: — but if he were to announce this as the first single off his next album, I’d be looking forward to it. It’s got power, it’s got a strong message, it’s got a good hook, it’s got what a Big Song needs. Belarus’s entry this year is fairly decent – but I’m surprised the juries preferred it to this.

Sick Individuals feat. MPH – We Got It All

“This sounds familiar. So, so familiar. But can I place it? Can I hell.”

Tim: This sounds familiar. So, so familiar. But can I place it? Can I hell.

Tom: It’s Zedd and Elley Duhé’s “Happy Now”. I mean, it’s distinct enough, but that’s what you’re thinking of.

Tim: It’s good track, mind, very good, and every little bit stands out. The first part starting out very strong, sounding like a chorus from some unidentifiable other song, then that instrumental dance breakdown, and then the final singy-shouty bit, also a bit familiar but not quite as much.

Tom: You’re not wrong! That’s some of the most promising first seconds I’ve heard in a while. And, once you get over the fact that it isn’t Happy Now, then yep — there’s a lot of good work in here.

Tim: All sounds good, then we go round and do it again for another 83 seconds. And then we’re done, rhythm still in our head.

Tom: And humming the melody to “Happy Now”.

Ina Wroldsen – Body Parts

“This is one of the best tracks we’ve covered in a while, I reckon.”

Tim: Here, a song about ‘the pressure young people are exposed to on a daily basis through everyday life as well as social media’.

Tom: Not about Dr Frankenstein, then.

Tim: Basically: sod your appearance, look how you want.

Tom: Someone threw Scars To Your Beautiful and Fight Song into a blender and this is the result. I don’t mean it sounds like either of those: it’s just very much in the same genre.

Tim: And oh, boy, did that chorus take me by surprise.

Tom: You’re not wrong. “Body parts” are really strange words to sing in such an uplifting tone but somehow it works.

Tim: Up until then, fairly standard track, albeit with the peculiar addition of a Greenwich Time Signal.

Tom: I think that might be intended as a heartbeat on a monitor? But yes, it’s an odd one. Fortunately it doesn’t stick around, and that’s down to the excellent production: the track steadily evolves over time, but it all works as a cohesive whole.

Tim: And sure, the pre-chorus comes along lifting things up a bit, but then ‘salvation’ arrives, and the first ‘body parts’, and suddenly there’s a lot of power there turning a good track into a great track, with a sing-along chorus to rival any of Rachel Platten’s and some of Demi Lovato’s.

Tom: Also good: the middle eight, the vocoder work, the final chorus, and the coda at the end. This is one of the best tracks we’ve covered in a while, I reckon.

Tim: High company and high praise, but well deserved.

JP Cooper feat. Astrid S – Sing It With Me

“Oh, do I have an issue with this.”

Tim: JP’s British, Astrid is, as we’ve heard multiple times, Swedish. And oh, do I have an issue with this.

Tim: At least, I have a problem with the lyric video. Musically, its fine. In fact, it’s good! The melody is nice, the vocals work well together, it’s a pleasant song to listen to!

Tom: You’re not wrong there. This is really nicely put together. I don’t think it’s going to be a classic, but it’s certainly a cut above most of the tracks we cover here. Astrid S continues to have a lovely voice, and JP Cooper makes for a good lead vocalist.

Tim: I like it, quite a lot! BUT. BUT. Oh, why would you use Calibri in a lyric video. Just, why.

Tom: That’s… that’s your problem? It’s a really lovely animated video, and your problem is Calibri?

Tim: There’s clearly been some proper designer involved at some point – the doo-do bits show it slightly, and then that ‘but I can write a song’ proves that someone involved knows what they’re doing – but why the hell would you use Calibri, anywhere? Everyone who has used a computer in the past decade knows it as the Microsoft Word default typeface, and everybody who has used a computer is the past decade will think “have they got, like, no imagination at all?”. It’s distracting. It’s wrong. And, genuinely, with that in the foreground it spoils the song for me. Background tab, it’s fine. But if I’m in the YouTube app on my phone? NO, next track please.

Tom: There’s really nothing wrong with Calibri.

jens – Before You Let Me Down

“That squeaky string noise is infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.”

Tim: Here’s one you might initially want to file under ‘irritatingly jaunty’, but keep with it because (a) it gets better and (b) it’s only 2:22 long in any case.

Tom: That squeaky string noise is infuriating. Absolutely infuriating. Occasional use as a stylistic choice, fine, but this is like Matt Bellamy breathing in on early Muse tracks: it’s all you can bloody hear! Which is a shame, because I… actually… think I like the rest of this? I know, that’s unusual for something irritatingly jaunty.

Tim: Verses: I can take them or leave them, but after a few listens I’ve largely come around to them. Chorus: yes, I like that, as it’s halfway between the verses and the best bit. The middle eight and beyond: ooh, very much so indeed please yes, because it’s that initial chirpy bit with a whole load of extra stuff on top of it, and it’s right at that point that I’m annoyed it’s such a short song, because I’d happily take at least another thirty seconds or so of it. As it is, there’s only really just enough of it to lift the rest of it above a rating of ‘hmm, so so’, for me at least.

Tom: For once, I’m actually charmed by this rather than put off. But you know what it needs? One more note. I realise that doesn’t play into the theme of the lyrics, but I’d be a lot happier if we just got a closing guiar note to resolve that open-ended bit at the end.

Well, that and less guitar squeak.

The Lovers of Valdaro – Faster to Nowhere

“I’d say that fits very nicely into the ‘really nice!; category, no?”

Tim: We featured their debut last year and you described it as “really nice!”.

Tom: I also said that “I like it, but I’m never going to remember it”, which was entirely accurate. I have no memory of it, but it’s pleasant now I hear it again.

Tim: We didn’t feature their Melodifestivalen entry because it wasn’t particularly interesting; we are now featuring their third release.

Tim: And I’d say that fits very nicely into the “really nice!” category, no?

Tom: It does. It also fits into the “I like it, but I’m never going to remember it” category. Even after listening through once, I can’t actually remember it. (I thought I did, but I was actually remembering the disco version of BWO’s “Kings of Tomorrow”, which has a similar chorus.

Tim: It reminds me a lot of Bright Light Bright Light, who I still have a lot of love for, and that’s not just because of the near identical vocal sound. It’s got the same lovely style to the backing to it, along with a good downbeat lyrics mixed with a nice jaunty sound. This is, to be honest, exactly my sort of music, done really really well. FAB.

Why Don’t We feat. Macklemore – I Don’t Belong In This Club

“The word that comes to mind for this is ‘charming’.”

Tom: This played on the radio while I was driving. It’s catchy as hell, but I swear I’ve heard the chorus somewhere before. What on earth does it sound like?

Tom: Even without that: the word that comes to mind for this is “charming”. It’s not a theme I’ve heard before, but it’s properly relatable; the chorus is brilliant; and the music video is in no way self-aggrandising. Like I said: charming.

Tim: Yes. You’re right, it is a bit familiar, in a couple of places, but nothing that I can think of right now. It’s good, though, and very listenable, and yeah, charming works well.

Tom: And then there’s Macklemore, who somehow manages to do a rap bit that doesn’t sound terrible. Aside from the Uber and Red Bull brand shoutouts, but never mind.

Tim: See, the Uber thing I’m actually okay with – sure, it might sting a tad to hear but, for me at least, Uber’s become enough of a word in its own right, like ‘google’ meaning to search, that lyrically I’m okay with it. Red Bull I’ll let you have, though.

Tom: Now, I’ll grant you, the track’s probably a bit too long. It’s basically got three middle eights: Macklemore’s verse, the actual middle eight with a different melody, and the quiet broken-down piano-backed chorus. In a world where the middle eight is steadily going away and songs are getting shorter, that’s a bold move.

Tim: But I like that – the song’s almost four minutes long, but it’s varied enough that I never get bored of it.

Tom: I think it manages to be both interestingly different and immediately catchy, which is a rare thing in pop. Or I just really like whichever song it’s reminding me of.

Tim: Fair.

Ava Max – So Am I

“Remember that ‘Sweet But Psycho’ song, the one that was so catchy that everyone just ignored the really questionable lyrics?”

Tom: Remember that ‘Sweet But Psycho’ song, the one that was so catchy that everyone just ignored the really questionable lyrics?

Tim: YES, and I still listen to it frequently while feeling ever so slightly guilty every time.

Tom: Well, this is what happens when a record executive says “that was brilliant, let’s have another one that’s exactly the same please”.

Tim: And right now I am imaging that exact conversation, because that is what happens. In a good way, mind.

Tom: There’s a lot to unpack here, isn’t there? The Sid and Nancy reference, the “call me Harley” lyric that acknowledges that, yes, perhaps the stylist might have taken a bit of inspiration from a certain comic book character.

Tim: Yeah – and that’s not helped by the fact that releasing a song titled ‘So Am I’ immediately after one with a main line of “she’s sweet but a psycho” could be read in a way different from how these lyrics portray it.

Tom: And the slightly uncomfortable music-video trope of taking a conventionally attractive artist and putting her in an oversexualised school uniform with some dancers, while she’s singing about how it’s okay to be different.

It’s very much been the Difficult Second Single in terms of chart performance, although it seems to be getting enough airplay.

Tim: Well, its been in the charts five weeks now and is lurking around the lower end of the Top 20, so I’d say it could go either way.

Tom: Catchy, though, isn’t it?

Tim: Yes. It’s still no Sweet But Psycho, though.

Joakim Molitor feat. Moa Lisa – Number One

“Not that FRIDAY WHEEEEY means much to you or me, given our chosen professions, but let’s have a Friday dance tune nonetheless.”

Tim: Not that FRIDAY WHEEEEY means much to you or me, given our chosen professions, but let’s have a Friday dance tune nonetheless.

Tom: Well, for me it’s more like FRIDAY PLANE TO A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE, but okay.

Tim: Oh, and you’ll want to put the lyric video in a background tab, far too many mistakes to take (and one appalling lyric).

Tom: And terrible choices of line break positioning, too. Amateur hour.

Tim: “You’re lightning up my heart”, you see, is just awful – it’s in that horrible place where you don’t know if they’ve accidentally put the wrong word, or if they’ve chosen it deliberately to be a bit weird or something, and I’m not sure if either is forgivable. That aside, though – the rest of it’s all decent.

Tom: Decent, sure, but it’s hardly a floor-filler, is it? I know that’s not always the point, but still.

Tim: Production’s good, and while there’s the occasional “wait, there’s no drop yet?” moment, eventually it provides what’s necessary: a pleasant summery beat. The season’s on its way, folks – let’s have some fun.

Christopher – My Heart

“Warning: this is an exceptionally frustrating video.”

Tom: Bold choice to choose one of the most common first names in the world as your mononym, but sure.

Tim: Warning: this is an exceptionally frustrating video.

Tpm: I’m not sure it’s frustrating, just more ill-thought-out.

Tim: “Okay,” went my thought process, “we’ve got a reverse video, always a fun thing, particularly when they try to lip sync it, and we know he ends up dead, so what’s going to happen?” Except then it turns out that since you can’t exactly die from rolling down a sand dune it must have been just a metaphorical death, but hey, is that a wedding we’ve got coming up? That’ll be a decent climax. Except, no. He’s just waiting at the alter, gets given back the engagement ring and then think “welp, guess she’s ditched me, okay, bye everyone”. Like, what? Narratively that’s awful, because at least call her to find out what’s going on, mate, don’t just run away and metaphorically kill yourself. And for our sake as viewers, where’s the fun? Where’s the “hang on, I know that look in your eye, wait, you’re sleeping my the best man?!” moment? That’d be a showdown worth waiting for, not this nonsense.

In other news, that’s now three out of three tracks this week where I’ve not actually mentioned the music at all. Hmm.

Tom: Yeah, I was going to mention that. And for once, I think that’s a shame: it’s got a really nice chorus, the piano’s doing interesting things in the background, and he’s got a voice that’s more than capable of singing it.

Tim: All of that is true – it’s nice. It’s decent. Just, not as good as the video is annoying, I guess.