Author: tom

The Chainsmokers with Kygo – Family

“There’s something weird about the whole thing.”

Tim: Since the sensitive content warning at the beginning of the video is irritatingly vague: he gets in a car accident, recovers, everything’s lovely now.

Tim: First up: “gave him a little extra cash” is a really weird way to describe paying someone.

Tom: There’s something weird about the whole thing. Narratively, the story doesn’t quite make sense — I realise that’s how life is, of course, but every time the video tries to make a point it’s undermined by something else in it. He wrecked his car? Sure, but we’ve just seen him pulling a handbrake turn at speed, that’s not surprising. He tore his ACL? Okay, but we’ve seen him jumping into a swimming pool from a rooftop, again, that’s to be expected.

At one point, there’s an Instagram caption visible: “This is Ross. He helped me build the car I wrecked. Guess I’m gonna have to have him build me a new one.” And sure, in context he probably sounds like less of a bellend, but the video director’s job is to make an audience care about him and it just seems like miss after miss after miss.

And then at the end, Amy appears! Has Amy been introduced at any earlier point? No, she’s just “a long time friend”. There is almost certainly a lovely, sympathetic story to be told here, but the director just didn’t do a good job of telling it.

Tim: Second up, the music, which I’ll happily admit I completely lost track of the first time I watched the video, though I’ve a feeling that’s kind of the point.

Tom: It’s generic. Kygo has a good style; the Chainsmokers have… well, a style. Together, they’re just a bit meh.

Tim: To be honest, this is a bit of a weird one. The video makes it really, really personal, and so I’m wondering which came first: the song or the crash. Was the song written after it, linking it into a “check up on your mates” theme, or was it a coincidence, and one of them thought “hey, we can make a video about that”?

I don’t know, and the Instagram post they made about it was also irritatingly vague. ANYWAY, music is music so let’s listen to that, and it’s…perfectly okay. No, it’s better than that. It’s good. It’s what we’d expect. It’s nice.

Julie Bergen & Seeb – Kiss Somebody

“Wait, is that it?”

Tim: Julie’s good at pop, Seeb do good dance – a combination’s gotta be worth hearing, right?

Tim: Right. Brief, mind – seems to be quite a “in, get it done, out” vibe, which…

Tom: …let’s be honest, fits the lyrics entirely. Two minutes and 18 seconds, though, is brief in many contexts: but, hey, if you’re trying to bring in the Spotify streaming revenue, that’s the way songs are going right now.

Tim: Often I’d praise that, because no-one likes a tune that hangs around longer than it should, but here we’re onto the second verse in less than a minute, there’s no semblance of any middle eight and barely a nod to even a closing chorus, and it just leaves me feeling a bit ‘wait, is that it?’

Tom: I disagree there: I think that quiet “make out” works as a middle eight, even if it is technically part of the chorus lyrics: and there’s definitely a bigger final chorus in there. I think this song lasts just as long as it needs to: I think if it were longer, we’d both be muttering that the simplistic tune starts to grate. (It started to grate with me on the second time I played it.) But I did, at least, play it a second time.

Tim: Sure, there can be remixes, and I can always press play a second time, but this almost has a whiff of contractual obligation to it, kind of like one of them’s lost a bet. The weirdest thing is that we do get a few ‘will this do?’ tracks, but in every case it’s been the quality of the music rather than the quantity that’s suffered. Here, music’s as good as ever – there’s just very little of it.

Anna Bergendahl – Speak Love

“Country is basically schlager, just with different instruments and more pickup trucks.”

Tim: Bits of yesterday’s track reminded me of Avicii; here’s a country opening for you that’s right out of his playbook.

Tim: Not quite as hefty later on, of course, but as country tracks go it’s still a RIGHT ON BANGER, and one I’ve happily played several times now and not got even slightly bored of.

Tom: Country is basically schlager, just with different instruments and more pickup trucks. Which is why I’m surprised that you always seem to write it off as a genre. This isn’t full-on American country, of course, but it’s certainly on those lines. And you like it!

Tim: The melody, the vocal, the energy, the everything, it’s there! Right there!

Tom: It’s a bit by-the-numbers, sure, but they are good numbers.

Tim: All flipping marvellous, so BRING IT, Anna, YES, with your walks down memory lane in the pouring rain. They might not be the greatest things, but at least they inspire good songs. Like this.

Alan Walker & Ava Max – Alone, Pt II

“I know a lot of music videos have ludricrous budgets, but this seems bigger than most.”

Tim: Welcome back, everyone! Let’s start the year with someone typically reliable, shall we?

Tom: That’s an interesting combination of names up there.

Tim: Now, three years back, Alan released a track called Alone; this here is apparently Part II, though I’ll be honest: I’ve no idea quite how this is related in any way, shape or form. Still, you remember how he used to have that really self-important thing going on about how his logo was all magical and stuff, and baked into the very fabric of the universe?

Tim: Yep, turns out he still does, and he’s almost verging on self-parody here.

Tom: “As part of the World of Walker Universe”. Good grief. I know a lot of music videos have ludricrous budgets, but this seems bigger than most. Mind you, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.

Tim: Part of me hopes he knows it and is deliberately making it bigger and better each time just for a laugh; on the other hand, part of me would quite like to believe he’s just so ridiculously earnest that he honestly believes this is a Good Thing to do.

Anyway, girl on a cryptic quest to find something or other, which turns out to be, yep, Alan’s logo embedded in a magical rock or something, and the weird thing is that, despite what the lyrics say: aside from a couple of locals pointing her in the right direction, she pretty much does get there alone. No-one with her – well, except for all the mystic monks that come out of nowhere, because of course there are mystic monks.

Tom: All this, and we haven’t talked about one note of the music yet. I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Tim: To be honest, by now I’ve a feeling Alan’s videos are almost more entertaining than the music – sure, that’s good, and exactly what we expect, but man, I’m waiting for the one where they fly into space and find an alien civilisation unknowingly worshipping him.

Lili Päivärinta – Heart To Heart

“It’s like the producers went to the nostalgia store on Christmas Eve, and found that it’s sold out of all the stuff that people actually like.”

Tim: Charity Christmas single for you today, but not the ‘poor people have nothing at Christmas’ type you might be expecting.

Tim: Now, I don’t quite get this. I mean, as a song it’s fine, hits the regular pop beats and everything, but I’m not entirely sure where the lyrics are coming from, or who they’re aimed at. Because sure, the video makes it quite sure it’s Lil singing (off 80s duo Lili & Susie, incidentally).

Tom: Which explains why my first thought was: “this sounds like it’s out of the 80s, but not in a good way”. It’s like the producers went to the nostalgia store on Christmas Eve, and found that it’s sold out of all the stuff that people actually like — so now they’re left with wrapping up hard-pan stereo mix and some synth pads that never came back into fashion, and hoping that everyone’s good enough to fake their reaction when they open it on Christmas morning.

Tim: Hmm. Tad harsh, perhaps, but okay, let’s go with it.

Tom: And as for those lyrics: well, they’re generic love lyrics, surely?

Tim: Yes, except that given it’s a dog charity, is she singing to her dog? I mean, I’m all for that, because I know people have strong relationships with their dogs. But then ‘Heart To Heart’ implies a reciprocal arrangement, so…is Lili playing the part of a dog? That’s absolutely fine, I’ve no problems with that at all – hell, it’d almost certainly be an improvement on the Cats movie – but a bit weird for a Christmas single.

Tom: Maybe they were the only things left in the shop as well.

Tim: Maybe, yeah, or maybe I’m just over-analysing this a bit. That doesn’t sound like me, though.

KEiiNO – Storbyjul

“I think they fixed That Song. I wouldn’t have believed it.”

Tim: It’s a cover. Press play.

Tom: Amazing. I think… I think they fixed That Song. I wouldn’t have believed it.

Tim: And that there confirms for me that the only problem I had with the original was with the lyrics. As for what these lyrics are, well, I’ve absolutely no idea how you translate “boys of the NYPD choir’ into Norwegian, but I’m not sure it matters, as I’m guessing this is a very loose translation.

Tom: Thankfully. You’re right, though: the main problem with the original is the words. Yes, originally they were interesting and subversive — slurs aside, it was a different time, etc etc — but now they’re just a depressing excuse for people at holiday parties to claim it’s “just a song” as they shout “scumbag”, or worse, at the people in the office they don’t like.

Probably a bit too specific, that, but never mind.

That said, I’m pretty sure the meaning is still there: even with my non-existent Norwegian, I can tell you that the duet of insults is still there. But in Norwegian, well, I can’t really tell.

Tim: Melodically it’s great; the energy’s all there once it gets going for the second verse; the joiking is, as ever, potentially off-putting if you don’t like it, but I’ve no issue.

Tom: And that solo trumpet really works too!

Tim: I really like this, a lot more than I thought I would. Well done KEiiNO, you’ve managed what I thought was impossible – a decent version of That Song.

Amarill & Neimy – Din Loser

“There aren’t many songs where after just a few seconds I’m already thinking ‘ooh, yeah, I like this’.”

Tim: There aren’t many songs where after just a few seconds I’m already thinking ‘ooh, yeah, I like this’. This, pleasingly, is one where that did happen.

Tom: You’re not wrong, that is a brilliant intro.

Tim: Title translates to ‘Your Loser’, incidentally, though I’ve no idea what the lyrics are about as they’re not on any lyrics site, do feel free to write in if you know. As it is, then, we’ve just got the music to go by, which is remarkably summery and yet and at the same time, not something I’m remotely bothered by hearing right now, unlike yesterday.

Tom: Good to know we’ve got consistent standards here. You’re right, though: it is a very summery song. There’s something about that repeating riff — which is always on the borderline between ‘fun’ and ‘annoying’ — that says this should be being released in June, probably in Benidorm.

Tim: Maybe it’s just that it’s pouring with rain outside and that doesn’t make me feel at all Christmassy, so I’m wanting to get away from it? I don’t know, but whatever it is, I’m happy.

Tom: It’s a decent, middle-of-the-road summer track. In winter.

Tim: It’s a good sound, it’s a strong rhythm, it’s probably a decent message in the lyrics with a title like this…it’s all nice.

Klara Hammarström – Riding Home For Christmas

“Clip clop clip clop.”

Tim: Can’t have riding without hoof noises, Tom.

Tim: Clip clop, clip clop. I mean, I’ve no idea why anybody would want to ride long distance on a horse (or maybe she’s borrowed a reindeer) at this time of year, it’s bloody freezing, but then I guess at least it avoids confusion with that godawful Chris Rea song. Clip clop.

Tom: See, for once I actually don’t find that annoying: they’re low enough in the mix that they don’t seem strange to me.

Tim: I think my favourite moment in here is when it drops any pretence whatsoever of being a normal song (which, let’s be honest, it could just about claim to be in the verses) and goes ALL IN with jingle bells for the chorus, because who are we really kidding? She’s Christmassy, the target’s Christmassy, the song’s Christmassy, EVERYTHING’S CHRISTMASSY, and all the better for it.

Tom: Agh, see, it’s the opposite exact for me: there is just too much jingling. When I say the verses of this sound like Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful, I mean it as a compliment to both voice and composition. And the chorus is great, too.

There’s a lot to like here, but it’s drowned out: by jingle bells for me, by hoof noises for you.

Tim: Clip clop, clip clop.

Arvingarna – Låt Oss Skänka Hopp

“CHRISTMAS DANSBAND!”

Tim: Time for another Christmas number, which will score precisely 0 on your ‘likely to join the British Christmas music collection’, but I doubt you’ll have a problem with that, as it’s CHRISTMAS DANSBAND!

Tim: Nice amount of fun, that, isn’t it?

Tom: That’s certainly the most Christmassy introduction that I’ve heard in a while.

Tim: For once, I’m very glad it’s in foreign, because the title translates to ‘Let’s Give Hope’ and it’s in the ‘yes Christmas is great but let’s not forget about the people who aren’t so happy’, and yes I know we need to think about them and I know they deserve charity but sometimes I just want to listen to happy fun Christmas music without being reminded of that, and the music for this doesn’t even slightly fit with that message.

Tom: …are you sure? This sounds very Charity Single to me. I can see imagine a montage of Swedish celebrities belting this out one line at a time. I mean, I can’t imagine it, I don’t think I know any Swedish celebrities, but you know what I mean.

Tim: It is jaunty, it is upbeat, and I love it.

Harry Styles – Adore You

“I’d like to present a new (and very strong) contender for Most Bizarre Video.”

Tim: We’re getting to the end of the decade and there’s a number of chart things going around; I’d like to present a new (and very strong) contender for Most Bizarre Video.

Tom: I only know of this because of the disappointed nerd outcry when a brand new exciting alternate reality game turned out to be… an ad for a Harry Styles song.

Tim: Ha, I’d completely missed that – though the December 2nd update made me laugh a lot reading it. ANYWAY, there’s a lot of pre-amble, but summary: the village doesn’t like Harry, he’s basically decided to leave, then he found a fish that has been similarly exiled. And then…

Tim: …he puts it in a cafetière, nicks a rucksack when it outgrows that, spies on a beardy guy, buys a massive fish tank which the fish then explodes out of because it is horrified by the fish market, which is somehow the part of the video that makes most sense.

Tom: Mm. Yes, I can see why the folks hopeful for an ARG were disappointed.

Tim: As for the song – it’s alright. It helps that it’s a strong chorus, because there’s basically nothing else to it, and I guess if you don’t like that main hook then you’ve probably not got much love for the song as a whole.

Tom: It’s not bad. It’s a perfectly servicable song. And I’ll admit I can at least sing some of the chorus after listening once. Well, one line of it, anyway.

Tim: On the other hand, is this whole thing really about the song? Or is it just a long-winded way of telling us he’s binned off girls and is going for fish now?