Category: Dance

DJ MuscleBoy – Louder

“If you are not shaving your balls regularly you’re never gonna reach your full potential.”

Tom: Martin writes in with this one, which he describes as “Eurotrance combined with a bizarre video. Then again, that’s what you expect from Iceland.”

Tim: I won’t dispute that.

Tom: This is number one in Iceland. It’s been number one there for weeks. And I’m reasonably sure that it’s actually a parody — Martin also sent us a Vice interview with DJ MuscleBoy in which he simultaneously says he’s a comedian, and then rather earnestly describes his body-fat percentage.

Tim: “If you are not shaving your balls regularly you’re never gonna reach your full potential.” Clearly, a lifestyle guru to be reckoned with.

Tim: Hmm. He could do with working on his abs a bit.

Tom: I… I’m fairly sure he shouts “let me see your cracks” at 1:28 there. Which given the number of them in the video, seems more reasonable than it otherwise might.

Tim: He does have a very nice bottom, that’s worth pointing out. Musically, erm, I’m not sure – those screams we hear throughout seem very familiar.

Tom: I’m filing this in with Moped as a Scooter-esque parody, particularly with that strangled scream near the end. He just needs to shout “more tea vicar” at one point.

Tim: Yeah – much as with Moped, though, I have no problem listening to it at all, even as proper music. One of my proudest moments at uni was getting our favourite DJ to give Clocks a spin. It’s a good track. Fairly ridiculous, but a decent track nonetheless.

Saturday Flashback: The Bloody Beetroots & Greta Svabo Bech – Chronicles of a Fallen Love

“Bloody hell.”

Tom: The Bloody Beetroots? That’s a heck of a name.

Tim: Yes, that is what these Italians call themselves, and unusually the producers and the singer are getting equal billing. But enough of the formalities: I heard this on Teen Wolf a few months back, while we were in the middle of Rejects season, so here it is now because I really like it.

Tom: Crikey, I got distracted and drifted off during the first bit of that, only to be suddenly startled by that instrumental bit. Bloody hell.

Tim: First off: points for the video, as I do like it when the camera cuts match the beat of the music, and it annoys me that it doesn’t happen more often.

Tom: It’s a stylistic choice: some directors and editors will prefer to make a film with a soundtrack, rather than the other way around. Either can work.

Tim: Now the main part: you might remember a couple of weeks ago we had a track that was similar to this – female vocalist on a fairly quiet verse, big thumping beats to the chorus.

Tom: Yep, and I remember thinking that it was rather good while you didn’t like it.

Tim: Back then I found it almost unpleasant, and I don’t know why, but I don’t find this anywhere near as jarring. It might just be that it’s not quite as intense – in fact it probably is that because I could listen to this quite a lot, whereas I got tired of the previous after a few listens. A lot of that, I think, is the way the top synth line often sounds vocal-y – it almost serves to relax the track a bit. Either way, or neither, GREAT STUFF.

Tiësto feat. Icona Pop – Let’s Go

“One big loud shouty dance tune.”

Tim: Tiësto, manufacturer of big dance tunes. Icona Pop, manufacturer of loud shouty pop songs. Together?

Tom: I think I can guess.

Tim: Together, as you likely guessed, they make one big loud shouty dance tune. It is, basically, exactly what you’d expect to get if you combined the two, and as far as this track goes, that’s a good thing.

Tom: Damn right. It’s not a regular playlist track for me, but I’ll be damned if this wouldn’t get me up on the dancefloor in a club. It suffers the usual problem of having a slightly dull verse, but that’s made up for by a lovely middle eight.

Tim: For a while, there’s a moment of doubt as it brings in some guitars and threatens to go all country, but it very much pulls up and, well, lets go, and brings absolutely everything out in force.

Tom: Whoa there. Farm-house music is still pretty good for me; I reckon the middle eight might be the best bit of this track.

Tim: Oh, you’re not far off there – it’s when we break out of the dance and get just with the acoustic guitars break it for me. This here is absolutely great.

It is, in fact, a cracking dance tune, albeit in a very different way from yesterday’s – one’s a get ready to go out and party, this here is very much a LET’S GET ON THAT DANCEFLOOR track. And I love it.

Tom: I see what you did there.

Kalsi & Applejack feat. Tina Cousins – Screams

“MUSIC THAT SETS COMPUTERS ON FIRE. YOU MUST DANCE.”

Tim: Tina Cousins, off the late 90s, used to do dance pop, solo and working with Sash! on a couple of tracks, (and she also did Thank ABBA For The Music).

Tom: Crikey. That’s a pretty good pop CV, actually. What’ve we got?

Tim: Back then, the dance and the pop were combined nicely. Here…

Tim: It’s pop. It’s DANCE. It’s pop. It’s DANCE. DANCE. DANCE YOU BASTARDS OR YOU’LL DIE BECAUSE THIS IS HARDCORE DANCE. MUSIC THAT SETS COMPUTERS ON FIRE. YOU MUST DANCE.

Tom: I’m not sure it’s quite as two-sided as all that: rather than see it as a mash of genres, see it as a non-vocal chorus. It’s not four-on-the-floor pop, but it’s got personality to it.

Tim: Yes, I suppose you’re right. But even given that, what strikes me about it is that I can’t imagine it ever being played out – Tina’s bits are entirely unsuited to a heavy dance floor, and the dance bits are entirely unsuited to the ears of most people who like the rest.

Tom: Ooh, now that’s where I think you’re wrong. Remember all those brostep fans who were all about the DROP, and the light-and-dark contrast? This has a hell of a DROP.

Tim: It does, yes, there is that – I suppose it’s more the second group I’m thinking of, belonging to it as I do. On the other hand, I said ‘mostly’ up there – I quite like it, though, so I’ll take it.

Röyksopp & Robyn – Do It Again

“It takes ages to get there.”

Tom: Wait, really?

Tim: Yep, and yep. Two Scandinivian GIANTS of dance music combine, to bring us this, the first single from a new duet EP.

Tom: Well, that’s exciting.

Tom: That… huh. That is exactly what I expected it to sound like. It sounds like Röyksopp, and it sounds like Robyn. I don’t why I’m underwhelmed by that, because it’s a really good track.

Tim: It is, but to be honest, it took me a while to get it – specifically, three minutes and forty four seconds. At which point it all WENT OFF and became WONDERFUL.

Tom: Right! And I know that’s Röyksopp’s shtick, the whole slow-build thing, but it takes ages to get there.

Tim: And then Annie Mac starts talking all over it, but still it’s very good.

Tom: I KNOW. GOOD GRIEF.

Tim: At the end, though, I had another listen and realised it actually got to a decent level after a couple of minutes, which is better but still sort of a problem – we all know Robyn has a lovely voice, so it’s a shame it takes so long for the production underneath to catch up and be big enough to complement it well. When it does, mind, it’s fantastic, and I can’t wait to hear the whole EP.

Orion feat. Niklas von Arnold – Follow The Lights

“You’ve basically just demoted this to stock music.”

Tim: You know what we don’t have enough of, Tom? TV game show theme tunes.

Tom: Hey, let’s not forget the Casualty garage remix that got to number 1. Actually, yes, let’s forget it.

Tim: Yes, let’s. This instead would make a good one.

http://soundcloud.com/oriononline/orion-follow-the-lights-ft-1

Tim: Well, bad bits first: it goes on longer than it really should, the chorus doesn’t quite hit the heights it should and to be honest it pales into insignificance in comparison to some of his other work.

Tom: That’s quite harsh. I can’t disagree with anything you say, though: that chorus is far more downbeat that it really should be.

Tim: I don’t mean it to be harsh – his other work really has been very good indeed. However, I’m not sure why, but within thirty seconds of this starting I was put in mind of the Treasure Hunt music and from then on I couldn’t stop thinking of it as a theme tune. The bouncy strings underneath work both to build tension and to give a ‘you can do it’ boost, parts of it are quiet enough to work as a bed to talk over and as for the lyrics, well, “Follow The Lights” is a perfectly good framework on which to build a contest.

Tom: You’ve basically just demoted this to stock music. Again, quite harsh, but not entirely unjustified.

Tim: Yeah – this really wasn’t intended to come across so harshly, but it just fits. So I say let’s make it.

Tom: If you want something that sounds like Treasure Hunt, though, try Muse’s MK Ultra.

Tim: Oh. Oh wow, that really is quite impressive.

André Zuniga – Off The Ground

“I was convinced it couldn’t possibly live up to its promises.”

Tim: Last Friday I brought you a hefty dance track that you were happy with; have another.

Tim: Well there we go, I trust that was also satisfying?

Tom: The first minute, exactly the first minute, is dedicated to such a strong build-up that I was convinced it couldn’t possibly live up to its promises. And then it did.

Tim: And then it did indeed. It’s the second release from André, who came to people’s attention on Idol 2011 and brought out a summery dance debut last June, and his first foray into proper club banger tracks, and to be honest it’s a very good foray.

Tom: Not quite danceable enough in the verses if it wants to be a Club Banger, but a quick remix for the clubs will sort that out.

Tim: Decent enough vocals, beat that’s not too quiet during the verses and has a nice build up to the chorus, after which it ALL GOES OFF. A well-produced song to dance to, even if the lyric video is a bit ’12-year-old meets Windows Movie Maker’.

Andreas Rodlund, Matt Hewie & B3TA feat. Jonny Rose – Ultimatum

“THIS.”

Tom: “B3ta”? Really? He knows that’s a bit taken, right?

Tim: Well, you’d think so, but apparently not. Or just doesn’t care. Anyway, whatever he’s calling himself, him and the rest have done this, some more Swedish dancepop for, though heavier on the dance and lighter on the pop than yesterday, so feel free to TURN IT UP LOUD, as it were.

Tom: You know how lately I’ve been down on a few average-sounding tracks, waiting for something a bit bigger and better? THIS. THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

Tim: EXCELLENT. Because “oh, haven’t we had enough piano dance yet?” went my thoughts, until the piano faded away and was almost entirely drowned by everything else in a quite wonderful manner.

Tom: I couldn’t agree more. This is the first time in a while that a chorus has lived up to the promise of the euphoric build before it. I want to dance to this, Tim. It’s amazing.

Tim: There’s not a lot to say about this, really, aside from: LOUD, GREAT, and, if you’re paying attention to the lyrics, just imagine he’s American and ordering you to forget your old tomato. Go on, try it.

Tom: Oh… oh, damn it, Tim. I was really enjoying this.

Tim: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA YOU’RE WELCOME.

Nick Sky feat. Daisy – Save My Love

“It’s certainly at least half decent.”

Tim: “You know when you’ve met that very special one but it’s just too soon in your life?” asks Nick. Well do you, Tom?

Tom: I’m a cynic with a phobia of commitment, Tim, so I’m going to go with “no”.

Tim: Ah. Well in that case, you’re probably not in a prime position to appreciate this song.

Tim: I love you, but I don’t want to do anything right now. So hang on, let me “run wild for a while and suck the very most [I] can out of life,” he says, just for a few years and then I’ll come back to you. When, presumably, I’m all done with life. So just wait there, cheers. Yep, right there. Don’t move.

Tom: You know where I’ve heard that before? The Beautiful South’s A Little Time.

Tim: Oh yes, there was that. Some would say that’s quite a big ask, but apparently not Nick (or, as you say, The Beautiful South), who presumably thinks he’s worth hanging around for. And, well, I can’t find any pictures to judge him on that basis but he can at least put a half decent dance tune together, so there’s that.

Tom: It’s certainly at least half decent, although I wouldn’t go too much further.

Tim: Yeah – I’m fairly sure it’s at that level. It seems to go quite quickly, which I suppose could be a negative in a whole “washes over you” kind of way, but it also doesn’t leave me wanting it to hurry up and end like some tracks.

Tom: It’s only three minutes, but even at that length it seems to go on a bit long. The best bit is the build to the chorus — the chorus itself is a bit repetitive, and if I’m honest, the middle-eight feels like a bit of a letdown.

Tim: Yes – I suppose overall we could say “oh, it’s fine.” Just a bit of a dickhead basis to the lyrics, really.

John Martin – Anywhere For You

“It’s like Swedish House Mafia never split up.”

Tim: A voice you’ll recognise, but likely not the name, as John was the guy that did the voices for, amongst others, Don’t You Worry Child, Save the World and Children of the Sun.

Tom: I know it’s all to do with contracts, rights, and agent negotiations, but I do feel like the vocalists should get more credit. That said: it’s not like the songwriters or producers have credit on this one.

Tim: The dance music influence seems to have paid off, and now he’s doing his own stuff. Like this.

Tom: Crikey. It’s a bit like the Swedish House Mafia didn’t split up.

Tim: And yeah – that dance music influence really did pay off, as this is, by and large, very similar to previous Swedish House Mafia tracks, and that’s a huge compliment. We’ve said in the past that he has a talent for putting hefty amounts to emotion into what’s basically just yelling and trying to be heard, and that’s as true here as it’s ever been. The production underneath: as brilliant as when he was singing on top of other people’s production – like you say, it’s like Swedish House Mafia never split up.

Tom: Perhaps he’ll manage what Ester Dean didn’t, at least so far. That’s a long article, by the way, but entirely worth the read.

Tim: This is a fantastic dance track and deserves to go huge; he just has to overcome the unfortunate fact that ‘John Martin’ is a remarkably dull name to have. Blimey, just imagine only having two first names to go by.

Tom: Thanks for that, Tim.