Tim: Clip clop, clip clop. I mean, I’ve no idea why anybody would want to ride long distance on a horse (or maybe she’s borrowed a reindeer) at this time of year, it’s bloody freezing, but then I guess at least it avoids confusion with that godawful Chris Rea song. Clip clop.
Tom: See, for once I actually don’t find that annoying: they’re low enough in the mix that they don’t seem strange to me.
Tim: I think my favourite moment in here is when it drops any pretence whatsoever of being a normal song (which, let’s be honest, it could just about claim to be in the verses) and goes ALL IN with jingle bells for the chorus, because who are we really kidding? She’s Christmassy, the target’s Christmassy, the song’s Christmassy, EVERYTHING’S CHRISTMASSY, and all the better for it.
Tom: Agh, see, it’s the opposite exact for me: there is just too much jingling. When I say the verses of this sound like Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful, I mean it as a compliment to both voice and composition. And the chorus is great, too.
There’s a lot to like here, but it’s drowned out: by jingle bells for me, by hoof noises for you.
Tim: YES I KNOW BUT BEAR WITH ME so some got excited for The Mandalorian, others for Falcon & Winter Soldier, but me, nope. Well, maybe a bit. But the main thing at the Disney+ launch for me? Easy. High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. Obviously.
Tom: Obviously. I don’t have any of the background required to understand what’s going on in it, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
Tim: Happily, the series has ended up so far being really, really good – incredibly funny, touching storylines and, to top it all off, great music. For example:
Tim: So, ignore the context, and try and tell me that wouldn’t sound amazing coming out of Demi Lovato, Little Mix, or any other strong female artist. And you can’t, can you? Because it’s brilliant.
Tom: It’s very much the Disney Channel style of pop, aimed both at teenagers and their parents. In that context, yes, it’s pretty good.
Tim: The lyrics are strong, inspirational, right down in ‘get out there and do it’ territory.
Tom: I guess? Although “like my phone’s navigation was turned off” is a genuinely appalling lyric, because it sounds clunky at first listen and then makes no sense when you stop to think about it. But I understand what they’re going for. And rhyming ‘throne’ with ‘kingdom’ is questionable at best. And that chanted middle eight is awful. And “castles in the sky” is a term for unrealistic dreams that will never be achieved, so that doesn’t really work either.
Actually, no, I’ve talked myself out of it now, the lyrics are awful.
Tim: Oh, they’re fine. The music is big, powerful ‘listen to what I’m saying’ stuff; the production is flawless; basically, this song is, as a piece of pop music, absolutely top notch. I love it.
Tim: I know it’s not Christmassy, but there’s something that needs clearing up. On Wednesday you made a claim that the Johnny Cash version of this song is “now the definitive version of the song”, to which my only response is: are you on glue?
Tom: Harsh. Admittedly that’s arguably much more true for “Hurt” than it is for “One” — because Nine Inch Nails were never what you could call a truly mainstream act, and Trent Renzor literally said “that song isn’t mine any more”. But I don’t think it’s a statement than can be dismissed automatically.
Tim: Even if you want to claim that it’s more notable than U2’s original version (which is laughable enough in itself), had you forgotten this?
Tim: Now, if you’ve recently developed a love for country music without telling me, that’s fine, you’re allowed to prefer an album track off a covers album.
Tom: Hold on hold on hold on. We’re both coming at this from very different angles. American III isn’t just “a covers album”, it’s one of Johnny Cash’s American Recordings series.
Tim: Hmm, maybe fair – but firstly, it still wasn’t released as a single, unlike a few others, and secondly (and more relevantly): you’re letting your emotions in here. Sure, it’s important to you, but please, don’t try to claim that it’s more notable or more definitive than either the original or this, which truly is an incredible collaboration. Figures alone show that much: this charted higher around the world (in the UK, for example, it was kept off the top spot only by Crazy by Gnarls Barkley), sold better, got a standing ovation when it was initially performed at U2’s New York gig. But you don’t need figures to show why it’s the case: it keeps Bono’s great initial vocals and adds on Mary J. Blige’s outstanding ones, with a phenomenal level of emotion. They work together and sound flawless.
Tom: I have, as far as I can recall, never heard this version of One. Ever. That is, no doubt, just as surprising to you as your dismissal of American IV is to me. And because I’m used to the other versions, I just don’t agree with you. I agree that the vocals are brilliant, but I think this is too… well, it’s too “pop music”, everything’s turned up too much, you’ve got that godawful thing where a studio single tries to sound like a live performance, with bits of what should be on-stage improv baked into the track.
Like Adam Lambert’s cover of Believe, U2’s “One” is an excellent track to perform on stage. Cash’s version is a better studio single.
Tim: Hmm, I’m still really not persuaded. But again, check the figures: if we’ve a definitive version of a song, it’s the one most people, if not everybody, thinks of when they think of the song. And hell, I’m not arguing that about this one. I’m just saying it absolutely isn’t Johnny Cash’s one. There’s just no competition. None at all.
Tom: So I did go and check the figures, and you’re right there: the order, in terms of Spotify’s slightly-rickety popularity ranking, goes U2’s original, then Cash, then this version. So, yes, I’ll grant you: Cash’s “One” is not the definitive version. But I don’t think U2’s is either.
Tim: The debut episode of a new X Factor show went out on British TV last week, and was beaten in the ratings by, erm, a political talk show aimed solely at under 30s. Idol in Sweden, though, is still going strong, still producing many recognisable names.
Tom: That’s what you’d expect from Sweden, I guess: they’re still where a huge amount of pop music is coming from. If anywhere is still going to have an Idol franchise, it’ll be there.
Tim: Here’s the winner of series 19, as crowned last weekend.
Tim: That right there is an excellent blend of 2019 music, with the vocal samples at the start and then dotted throughout, and good old-fashioned power balladry (and indeed some excellent steadicam shots).
Tom: And again, that’s what you’d expect from Sweden. Not entirely convinced by the song itself, mind: all the component parts are there but I can’t remember any of it afterwards.
Tim: Strong voice, as you’d expect from an Idol winner, top production, and…oh, you know what? It’s a winner’s single, of course it’s good.
Tom: I’m not entirely convinced by that voice, it sounds like he’s straining in a couple of places, but then it’s a live performance on an incredibly stressful night. If he can belt that out under those conditions, he’ll be absolutely fine.
Tim: Will he continue and get further success? Who knows. Right now, I’m enjoying listening to this.
Tim: Time for another Christmas number, which will score precisely 0 on your ‘likely to join the British Christmas music collection’, but I doubt you’ll have a problem with that, as it’s CHRISTMAS DANSBAND!
Tim: Nice amount of fun, that, isn’t it?
Tom: That’s certainly the most Christmassy introduction that I’ve heard in a while.
Tim: For once, I’m very glad it’s in foreign, because the title translates to ‘Let’s Give Hope’ and it’s in the ‘yes Christmas is great but let’s not forget about the people who aren’t so happy’, and yes I know we need to think about them and I know they deserve charity but sometimes I just want to listen to happy fun Christmas music without being reminded of that, and the music for this doesn’t even slightly fit with that message.
Tom: …are you sure? This sounds very Charity Single to me. I can see imagine a montage of Swedish celebrities belting this out one line at a time. I mean, I can’t imagine it, I don’t think I know any Swedish celebrities, but you know what I mean.
Tom: Every time we talk about a song with a name like this, the same as an absolutely iconic track, I get a bit grumpy. Why would you release a song with the same name like that? Unless it’s actually a cover. And who’d dare to cover Believe?
Tom: Oh. He would. And really well.
Tim: Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, it’s hardly the honest to God banger that the original was, is it?
Tom: Okay, a bit of backstory: he performed this live at the Kennedy Center Honours a year ago, and brought Cher to tears. She later posted a tweet in her usual style about it.
Tried 2 write Feelings About Adam Lambert Singing Believe In Words,but Cant seem 2.When Your senses are Overwhelmed All Can you feel with your ❤️. I Was Shocked AND Over The MOON When Cindi (Lauper) came out Rocking the house. Shocked Because SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS IN LA,
Tom: Here’s what I reckon: Cher’s original is a better studio version.
Tim: Obviously.
Tom: This isn’t a Johnny Cash situation, where the new cover version is now the definitive version of the song. (Twice.) And honestly, I don’t think this needs to be a studio single: I think that live performance stands well on its own.
Tim: Okay, we’ll come back to that Johnny Cash claim in a bit, because…yeah, later. As for this, sure, that’s a good performance, if you like that sort of thing. I think I’m just too pro-banger to really get this. Just leaves me a bit ehh.
Tom: That said, without the single, I wouldn’t have heard the live version.
“I’d like to present a new (and very strong) contender for Most Bizarre Video.”
Tim: We’re getting to the end of the decade and there’s a number of chart things going around; I’d like to present a new (and very strong) contender for Most Bizarre Video.
Tim: Ha, I’d completely missed that – though the December 2nd update made me laugh a lot reading it. ANYWAY, there’s a lot of pre-amble, but summary: the village doesn’t like Harry, he’s basically decided to leave, then he found a fish that has been similarly exiled. And then…
Tim: …he puts it in a cafetière, nicks a rucksack when it outgrows that, spies on a beardy guy, buys a massive fish tank which the fish then explodes out of because it is horrified by the fish market, which is somehow the part of the video that makes most sense.
Tom: Mm. Yes, I can see why the folks hopeful for an ARG were disappointed.
Tim: As for the song – it’s alright. It helps that it’s a strong chorus, because there’s basically nothing else to it, and I guess if you don’t like that main hook then you’ve probably not got much love for the song as a whole.
Tom: It’s not bad. It’s a perfectly servicable song. And I’ll admit I can at least sing some of the chorus after listening once. Well, one line of it, anyway.
Tim: On the other hand, is this whole thing really about the song? Or is it just a long-winded way of telling us he’s binned off girls and is going for fish now?
“High pitched sample, shouty bloke yells some nonsensical stuff, RAVE.”
Tom: They’ve been going for 25 years. Or, rather, the shouty bloke has, the folks behind him have changed shift a few times. Which means, in that time, they’ve tried to change up their style a lot, and sometimes get away from the shtick they’re known for: high pitched sample, shouty bloke yells some nonsensical stuff, RAVE.
Tom: I can’t tell if this is genuinely going back to their old style because they like it; or knowingly putting out something the fans will like; or whether it’s self-parody. And I don’t think I care.
Tim: I’m not sure it’s any of those, really: I think it’s just H.P. Baxxter doing what he does well, doing it very very well. Don’t forget that we’ve both enjoyed the couple of Scooter tracks we’ve featured recently precisely because they’re right on their early ’00s game. It’s a great sound (well, great for the fans), and they clearly like making it.
Tom: This could sit on a Scooter album from decades ago. My teenage self would like it. And so do I.
“Let us love, let us live, let us heal the broken heart.”
Tim: As necessitated by December, it’s Christmas Christmas Christmas for the flashbacks, and here’s one from 2016. We never featured it at the time as her label originally only uploaded the first 90 seconds to YouTube, but fortunately, it’s all there now. How fun!
Tom: Mm. I’m not so sure about ‘fun’.
Tim: Let’s face it, Tom: Britain right now is kind of garbage. This bloody election, which initially I was actually excited for, has turned into such a festering dungheap that my preferred outcome would be everybody losing and the whole country being governed by Miss Jenn off High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, who is absolutely my favourite person in the world right now.
Tom: If our reader is wondering, then no, I couldn’t be bothered to Google that reference.
Tim: However, as Ida points out: it’s Christmas time, it’s around. Let us love, let us live, let us heal the broken heart. It’s time to forgive, and get a brand new start. And right now, I’m very up for that. The fact that this message has been brought to us by a fairly decent dance pop track with all the jingles of festivity just adds to that. Let’s feel good.
Tom: I think you’re being overly generous there: I woke up for the middle eight, but other than that, this just seems rather dull. It’s repetitive both within each chorus, and over the whole track — and yes, that can be a good thing, but in this case it’s mostly just putting me to sleep.
That’s not the Ida’s fault: she’s performing it perfectly well. I even tried bumping the playback speed up to 1.25x — it was an improvement, but it’s still just think it’s, well, a bit of a boring song.
Tim: First single was out in March, I liked it more than you did; here’s number two which is “about a guy who is starting to immediately date a new girl after a break up. The way he is acting is the total opposite to the way he did in the previous relationship.” There’s more guff provided, but it doesn’t really help. Have a listen.
Tim: And there we go – basically, “stop being a dick”, but in not too nasty a way because she’s moving on anyway, absolutely moving on, not at all obsessed by him, definitely not going to do something obsessive like write a song about i– oh, wait.
Tom: His name is Lee, by the way. Ridiculous Lee. He’s the same person that Katy Perry sang about.
Tim: Still, at least it’s a good song, punchy and vibrant and noisy, with a decent combination of melody and shouting.
Tom: Yep, for once I’m really enjoying a track you’ve sent over. I’m not sure I’m going to be singing along with the lyrics any time soon, but it’s one that could sit happily in the middle of a pop playlist.
Tim: All in: slightly confused message, packaged up in nice music though.
