Cheryl Cole – The Flood

It just kind of… washes over you.

Tom: So, she’s releasing a track with the same name as Take That’s latest single. That’s a brilliant idea, well done Cheryl.

Tim: And unlike Take That’s, it’s not good. It’s not terrible, but it just kind of… washes over you.

Tom: “Turn the lights out / in the lighthouse”? You’re a menace to shipping, Cole. I’ll ruin this song forever now for you, Tim, by saying that judging by the title, this should really have been a song about her menstrual cycle.

Tim: I don’t know how to respond to that.

Tom: It’s better than the damned ‘alouette’ refrain from the last one, I suppose; it’s at least musical.

Tim: It couldn’t really be worse than that, though. Unless it really was about her period.

Tom: How many times does she blow that damned candle out in the video?

Tim: Maybe it’s one of those magic relighting candles you get on birthday cakes.