Tom: The only thing I can remember about this particular X Factor artist is Peter Dickson shouting her name. Apart from that, she’s pretty much a blank in my head.
Tim: Well, she’s the one that bullied people but then she wasn’t a bully so it’s all okay, and consistently dressed up like a Quality Street with a unicorn horn and pointless rap breakdown.
Tom: This starts wonderfully. A piano intro, a fantastic soulful vocal, a promising build…
Tim: Oh dear.
Tom: …and then, bloody hell, it goes all wrong. Whose stupid idea was that giggle?
Tim: The giggle’s the only thing you’re complaining about? I doubt that very much.
Tom: It’s like they’ve lumped everything in: occasional dubstep wubs, background vocals that sound like a Justin Timberlake song, an air horn as if Tim Westwood was mixing it, and a particularly dumb innuendo-gasp.
Tim: That’s more like it, because let’s be honest this is just noise, isn’t it. For a start, I’ve listened to it twice and I’m still not really sure what or when the chorus is. It pretty much sounds like someone’s reached into a bag of all the things that have been popular over the past two years and grabbed a few things at random, which is really not a good way to make music.
Tom: In the middle eight, she actually sings, and it’s good – but the rest of it is just a confused, disappointing mess.