Tim: A song that was massively popular amongst the German people, getting nine out of nine 12 points from radio station audiences and 10 points from the TV viewers, but horrifically bombed with the jury.
Tom: Popularly known as “doing a Jedward”.
Tim: Before we listen to it, though, I want you to imagine some Germans playing music. Feel free to stereotype as much as you like, but focus on the whole thing – music, clothing, the whole shebang.
Got it?
Tom: Yep. I’ve got a hell of a stereotype in my head, though, this had better be…
Tom: …good grief. I can see exactly why the voting broke down that way.
Tim: Yes, it’s not hard to work out. Let’s ignore the rapping, because that’s not very good and is really just a bloke speaking quickly. I might appreciate it more if I could remember more German from school, but I can’t, and Google’s translation fails horribly on these lyrics. The rest, though: blimey. First, we have actual lederhosen.
Tom: Not the full traditional national dress, but somehow just the shorts makes it a bit worse.
Tim: Secondly, holy trinity of trumpet, trombone and tuba, which come into their own when it becomes apparent that what we initially thought would be a standard breakdown (albeit brassier than usual) turns into a completely different second half of the song.
Tom: You see, I associate a brass section with a full-on ska or punk band these days, so this just sounds a bit half-arsed to me – where are the raucous electric guitars?
Tim: Ska? Punk? Mate, this is meant to be stereotypical, racist-if-anyone-else-suggested-it traditional German stuff. Raucous electric guitars? What’s wrong with you?
Tom: No, I mean that’s what I expected – I’m not used to hearing brass as the lead. It just sounds half-finished to someone who’s used to hearing, well, something like this.
Tim: Ah, fair enough. But thirdly, finally, and most intriguingly, they’re not afraid to take on a challenge that no-one has ever thought to set: “What do you mean, you need a vocalist for a key change?”