Lady Gaga – Applause

“Oh. How very… 2000s.”

Tim: POP MUSIC EMERGENCY, declared Gaga yesterday evening, as it became apparent that leaking seven seconds of her new song at a time wasn’t enough to stop people talking about someone else’s track. So out of nowhere, one of the biggest pop stars around yesterday decided to properly launch the much-awaited first single from her new album; here it is.

Tom: Oh. How very… 2000s.

Tim: Was pretty much my first thought. It at least doesn’t waste time not going anywhere, that’s for sure, though to be honest I’m not sure that works in its favour – for me, it never seems to be quite as big and massive as it probably could be.

Tom: It does seem to be a day for diva disappointment, doesn’t it?

Tim: For you, certainly. And for me, possibly. The crowd noise at the end is very welcome, but when your whole song’s about living for applause you want it to be properly massive throughout, no?

Tom: The first single off a new album needs to a Born This Way, an Edge of Glory, a Yoü and I. This is… none of those.

Tim: It really isn’t. It’s not bad, of course – not by any means at all, but I can’t help being somewhat disappointed. It would admittedly have taken a hell of a lot to beat some of the tracks from Born This Way or The Fame Monster. On the other hand, maybe it’s stylistic – this sounds like a track for her first album, as you implied up at the top, and I never enjoyed that quite as much as the next two.

Tom: I’ve liked most of her songs, but this is very much an “album track” as far as I can tell.

Tim: If I’m honest, then, I don’t I like it as much as I do Katy Perry’s. Sorry, but then perhaps you shouldn’t have insulted music bloggers. (Not bitter at all, by the way.)

Tom: Speak for yourself: I’ll keep listening to the Pet Shop Boys’ new single. We’ll get to that in a day or two.

Tim: Tomorrow, perhaps, and if you’re wondering about the world’s schedule for the rest of the week, I’m reliably informed it involves new tracks from Britney and Adele, and then a new Rihanna album on Friday. YOU’RE WELCOME.