Tim: You know how, sometimes, you get songs with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever?
Tom: Yeah, sure, they’re called “Cher Lloyd” tracks. BOOM.
Tim: OOF get you, mister fingernails emoji.
Tom: Oh crikey, that’s a horrible introduction. Who thought banjo-picking and… a sax, maybe?… who thought they’d go together? And it just gets worse from there. They’re trying to be Las Ketchup, and what we’ve got is a cheap imitation of Las Ketchup. Basically, we’ve got those cheap sachets of sort-of-ketchup that you get at cheap canteens.
Tim: Pretty much, yes. I suppose there aren’t *no* redeeming features, as the chorus is slightly listenable as long as you don’t pay much attention to it. The problem is, this is a song that is crying out to be performed by the one and only Mr 305, who brings with him the necessary level of awareness that what he’s doing is ridiculous.
Tom: Ha! You’re right, as well. With a bit of a production punch, and some suitably Spanish lyrics, I can actually see Pitbull making this work.
Tim: This Swedish duo just seem to be thinking “let’s put out a summer tune by mixing every single element we can think of.” The thing is, that could be okay, except (somewhat ironically, given the verses) they’ve completely ignored any semblance of recipe that might make this work.
Tom: Agreed. I’m not even sure it’s all in the same key.
Tim: I have given this considerably more thought than it probably deserves, and I will award it exactly 14%, with those few points being awarded solely for the chorus and potential. Other than that: nope.