Tim: Second track of this lot, and I’m sorry to have to warn you that they’ve chosen this moment to break out the ukulele.
Tom: And the clap, it would seem. Sorry, the claps.
Tim: And DAMMIT I hate that this song makes me really happy. I HATE ukuleles. I LOATHE the stupid guitar foetus things that make frown men look like they’re giants strumming an ant. I DESPISE everything about them, the fake chirpy optimism they never fail to signify, and the general irritation that a single strum creates in me.
Tom: Mm. See, given this is the second ukulele song in a week where you’ve enjoyed it, I’m starting to question that.
Tim: Well, that brings me on to the most of all: I UTTERLY ABHOR the fact that in many cases…it works. Because I’m listening to this and despite it being the most appallingly twee song we’ve heard in months, especially once you add in the clapping–
Tom: Just call it the Clap.
Tim: I still have a smile on my face. Every time that chorus comes around, I’m smiling like the sodding Cheshire Cat.
Tom: I was about to say “if it’s any consolation, Tim, it pretty much completely unaffects me,” but then it did that bridge on the way back from the middle eight and I found myself quietly nodding my head along with it.
Tim: Bastards, all of them.