Tom: I know we’re meant to be about Europop here, but let’s talk about this.
Tim: Oh, must we?
Tom: Everyone else is.
Tom: It’d be a banger if it had an actual sung chorus.
Tim: Yes – ironic, really, that given all the beef she’s had with Katy Perry over the past few years she’s now releasing a song with the exact same flaw as Dark Horse.
Tom: Everything else about this is great: the introduction, the build in the first verse, the pre-chorus… and then it, well, it goes all a bit wrong.
Tim: Are you…are you on glue? It’s dull, there’s next to no melody, the lyrics are horrible, they gave Right Said Fred writing credit in advance so they didn’t get sued – and that video would appear to be going for horror movie but it comes out like Scooby Doo (and we also need to teach her what underlining is).
Tom: I know, I know, but I went into this cold — I’ve looked up the other opinions now, but I just went “ooh, new Taylor Swift track” without seeing the reactions. And genuinely, I really liked everything up until that chorus. It could have been good.
Tim: Well, takes all sorts, I suppose.
Tom: To be fair, by the end of the track I think I “got it” — I just hope the rest of the album’s not quite as dark. I’m reminded of Robbie Williams’ strategy: release the weird single first to get attention, follow it up quickly with a radio-friendly banger for airplay. If that’s what’s going on here, there’s hope yet.
Tim: Well, sorry to disappoint you, but the old Taylor won’t be on the radio any more. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD, remember? This is it, apparently, and it’s bloody awful.