Tim: Care to see what’s coming out of Germany this festive period?
Tom: “Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby”. Maybe there’s no equivalent in German, and that’s a bit like English speakers saying “schadenfreude”.
Tim: “I don’t want a white Christmas, I don’t care for presents, all I want is for you to bring him back.” Taken literally that might lead to a slightly disturbing situation (“Ho ho ho!” “Santa! Have you brought me my presents?” “No, I’m afraid I’m here to kidnap you and give you to that girl you broke up with.”) but let’s face it, it’s almost a tradition for Christmas song lyrics to make no sense if you think about them for more than half a second, so never mind.
Tom: If you’re translating that right, it’s basically “All I Want For Christmas Is You” with less consent. But sure, let’s ignore the lyrics.
Tim: Instead, the music, which brought a smile to my face within a couple of seconds of pressing play. It is joyful and tinkly and infectious, and I was joyously singing along to the chorus the second time it came around (the English bits, anyway).
Tom: I’ll give it credit for precisely one thing: that unnecessary, cheesy electric guitar riff in the background. That did make me smile. Apart from that, I can’t say I’m impressed.
Tim: That six note descending bit that hits just before each verse is absolutely wonderful and makes me smile every time it comes around, and all in all I love it: it’s cheesy German pop, done festive. And as far as I’m concerned that’s a recipe for perfection.
Tom: Can I hum the chorus after one listen? Yes. Do I want to? No. No I don’t.