Tim: We had a run through of all of what would have been this year’s Eurovision entries last week, rating them out of 100, and if you recall, Tom, Ukraine’s was the only song of the lot that got single figures from all of us, what with it being (a) flute-based EDM with a howling vocalist and (b) not even interesting flute-based EDM with a howling vocalist.
Tom: Genuinely baffling.
Tim: What’s truly mystifying is that the voting public had the opportunity to choose this instead, and didn’t.
Tom: I was going to mock you here, Tim, and assume that you were sending it to me purely because of Well-Built Man With Shiny Hair. At least, I was for the first minute.
Tim: Well, yes, that would’t have been too unfair, as until 1:20, it’s possible it could be dismissed as a dull Eurovision ballad, and God knows that yes, there are enough of those that it might blend into the background; even what sounds like the chorus is a bit dull.
Tom: It was going to be the Eurovision of Dull Ballads, wasn’t it?
Tim: Given last year’s tedious victor, there was a risk, but oh boy is this not tedious. Because at that point, the proper chorus arrives, and we’ve actually got something, and he really shows off his voice towards the end of it. And then, even though we’ve only one verse and chorus, a sort of middle eight arrives, and OH MY DAYS with the smoke, and the backing singers, and is that a key change we have there as well? OH it’s just MARVELLOUS.
Tom: Full marks for him continuing to sing through what I’m fairly sure is a CO₂ blast to the face, as well. You’re right about all of that: it’s certainly better than what they sent. Not a winner, I’d guess, and it might well suffer from what got John Lundvik last time — the juries would like it, but the public would think it’s passé.
Tim: Oh, but it just so isn’t – it’s almost novel, differing from being a standard builder because it doesn’t have a second verse where it has to dip down a bit. Instead it just builds and builds and builds all the way until it shows that sometimes, democracy just isn’t the right solution.
Tom: Odd that he seemed to waver on that very last note — was that a technical decision, I wonder, or did he just miss it?