Category: Europop

Bekker – Right on Time

Standard Star Pilots style tune… ludicrous key change.

Tim: Bekker, also known as Johan Becker, also known as him off of Star Pilots, presents us with this three-minute number.

Tom: A bold choice for a title there, given that many people will confuse it with Ride on Time, but let’s have a listen.

Tim: Standard Star Pilots style tune, with a nice pop/dance mix. While this is good, it wouldn’t really be enough to get me that excited.

Tom: Decent chorus, standard vocals. Nothing wrong with it, it’s just a bit, well, normal.

Tim: Except, of course, for the somewhat excellent five seconds that start at 2:20.

Tom: That’s a ludicrous key change right there.

Tim: It is, and I can’t help feeling that overall it doesn’t really help the song, because that sort of knocks the rest of it into mediocrity by comparison. It has a great chorus, better than average verses, but I said at the beginning it wouldn’t get me excited. And yet this song should. So here, I think we’ve found a key change that actually harms the song.

Tom: Yep. He’d have been better off cutting it beforehand – although two minutes might be a bit too short even for a track like this.

Eric Amarillo – 50kvm

“Is this the way to… oh. No. Sorry.”

Tom: Is this the way to… oh. No. Sorry.

Tim: Yeah, no. Last time he was synth-heavy and somewhat mushed-up (go with it). This time? Well, let’s find out.

Tom: Ooh, I do like that opening. That’s… well, am I being blasphemous if I say that opening is a bit Pet Shop Boys? I mean that as a compliment.

Tim: No, I don’t think so. This song certainly sounds more connected than the previous one – there’s a tune and a melody, and he’s singing with it properly. This is a good thing, and I like that. We see an interesting tactic when he decides not to bother with lyrics or words or anything and just goes with a somewhat generic ‘ha-a-aah-ahh-ah-ahh-uh-uhh-uh’ thingy, which does at least help with the whole language barrier thing.

Tom: It does change up properly for the middle-eight, although the return from it is a bit lacklustre. It seems to have a chorus that’s uplifting in tone, but delivered in a fairly calm way. Perhaps the lyrics could help?

Tim: Well, perhaps they could, but, I’m not entirely sure what this is about. Google helps out a bit, but completely falls down on the choruses, arguably the most important part. Apparently ‘kvm’ means ‘square meters’, but I have no idea if this is too much, or too little, or entirely unconnected to the guy’s feelings. Still, who care? It’s good music, so I’m happy.

Gabrielle – Ring Meg

Repeatedly surprised by bridges.

Tim: Welcome to London, Norwegian X Factor 7th-placer! While you’re here, why not film your next music video?

Tim: Now, we’ve featured our fair share of tracks with foreign lyrics here, but for the first time right now, I feel I’m actually hearing this as a load of random syllables. Not sure why, because it’s fairly obvious what the song’s all about – well, I assume it is, given the the title translates to ‘Call Me’ and there are phones all over the place – but I just can’t help it.

Tom: I reckon that’s because the quality of her vowels, with the autotune effect she’s got, is very close to English – so rather than parsing it as ‘foreign language’, your brain hears nonsense English.

Tim: Well, whatever the reason is, I’m not so bothered about that, because the music’s good, chirpy, upbeat and all that, and it’s nice and sunny in the video – my personal highlight of which, by the way, is her utterly ridiculous purple and red car which I would LOVE to see someone actually driving around London in.

Tom: I like how she seems to be repeatedly surprised by bridges. Every time her boat goes under one, she stares up like it’s the first one she’s ever seen. A road! Over water! AMAZING.

Yolanda Selini – Like A DJ

Now, don’t let the first thirty seconds put you off.

Tim: Now, don’t let the first thirty seconds put you off.

Tom: I think I must be getting used to dubstep, because I quite like the first thirty seconds.

Tim: Thomas Scott, what on Earth is happening to you? Still, I’m glad to hear it. And speaking of things I’m glad to hear, that chorus right there is proper club banger stuff, that is, and I like it because it GETS ME GOING.

Tom: I’m not sure I wanted to know that.

Tim: Well, tough. I think it’s good to share. As for the rest of it, though? Hmm. Verses aren’t really all that special, and there are a couple of shockers: as is to be expected, the overly long and overly shit rap bit goes a long way towards pushing this into the dislike category, and I’m very much unsure about the first lyrical couplet involving private hos (or is it hoes?) and junk touching.

Tom: “I’ll let you touch my junk” is a bold lyric if ever there was one.

Tim: But if one can put those aside, we have an enjoyable track. Fairly big ‘if’, though.

NEO – Toxicated Love

Last seen getting run over multiple times and generally destroying the laws of physics.

Tim: Last seen getting run over multiple times and generally destroying the laws of physics, he’s now gone back to releasing music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFpj6ULxpPY

Tim: I must confess that one of my thoughts on hearing this was “Is toxicated actually a word, because I’ve not heard of it?” The answer, should any readers be thinking the same, is: sort of, but not really. We do have toxication, which is something to do with drugs and metabolism and stuff, but I think we can safely put this title down to “more or less sounds like it makes sense and fits the rhythm.”

Tom: Well, we also have “toxic”, but Britney got there first.

Tim: Pedantry aside, though, I think the song’s fairly good. Obviously it’s not as amazingly brilliant as One Direction’s track,* nor is it quite up to the level of Underground, but I really like the ways it’s got proper instruments under it, rather than just your standard guitar/drum/keyboard/synth blend.

* Just so you know, for at least the next fortnight What Makes You Beautiful will be my favourite ever track, and every other track will pale in comparison. Only until I get bored of it, though.

Tom: Are those proper instruments under it, or just really good synths? I’m not sure I can tell.

Tim: Well, they sound good, which it what matter really. I’m a bit disappointed by the long ‘just you wait and see what comes next because it’s going to be something special’ pause that turns out to be there just so he can catch his breath, but that doesn’t spoil it too much.

Tom: I was really expecting a WHOOMPH back in there – it is a bit disappointing.

Tim: All in all, I will give the song a nice round 68%.

Tom: Well, at least it’s a rational number.

Gregorgeous – Take You High

It doesn’t do anything all that great

Tim: Here’s a video that takes a rather irritating – some might say inconsiderate – two minutes to actually do anything.

Tom: What is it with music videos getting credits nowadays? Yes, it looks cool, but it’s not a movie. You’re there to show off the music. Lady Gaga can get away with it because her two-minute intros really are spectacles. This is just some people walking into a club.

Tim: And even after all that time, it doesn’t do anything all that great. Sure, it’s a good track, and I do like it – there’s a nice beat to it, decent rhythm, a fairly alright tune and good dance-floor-appropriate lyrics – but it doesn’t really live up to what it should be based on the first few notes.

Tom: I think that’s because the first few notes are actually from Dizzee Rascal’s “Bonkers”.

Tim: Ooh, they are a bit. And when the music originally hit, I thought, ooh, this is going to be a cracker, expecting it to grow a bit, but it didn’t really, which is a bit disappointing.

Tom: You’re right. There’s nothing particularly wrong with it, but it’s just… standard. Also, “Gregorgeous”? There’s someone with a high opinion of himself right there.

Straight Up – Show The World Tonight

An entirely appropriate song for Stockholm Pride

Tim: Stockholm Pride 2011 had an entirely appropriate official song. This one, in fact.

Tom: Ooh. Someone’s gone all high-concept but low-budget with their video, haven’t they? They’ve reached for the stars and hit… well, they’ve hit something. That’s someone with a graphics tablet and a basic knowledge of After Effects, I reckon. Or MS Paint.

Tim: Interesting idea for the, well, story, I guess, with a somewhat unusual KILL ALL THE HOMOPHOBES vibe to it, which I suppose is meant in a good way rather than a murderous rampage way. Perhaps what they’re imagining Stonewall would have been like if it happened two hundred years later.

As for the music, I love it: it’s great as a dance tune, it’s great as a ‘we’re all gay and it’s fantastic’ song, and is almost inspiring in its way. ‘Try homosexuality! You know there’s a small part of you that’s always wondered, and you really don’t know what you’re missing!’

Tom: They are basically just singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, though. If we rip Cher Lloyd apart for doing nursery rhymes, we should really do the same here. It’s just… a bit uninspired, really. Good production, bad song.

Tim: Fair point about the nursery rhyme, but I wouldn’t say bad song – not by a long way.

Man Meadow – Eaten Alive

It’s no Michael Jackson, but that’s a good cover.

Tim: A cover of Diana Ross it would seem, and rather more modern that you might expect (and just so you know, I don’t know the original, so I’ll be judging this as a new song).

Tom: Well, the original featured Michael Jackson and, while not particularly successful, was quite fun – so we’ll see how this one turns out.

Tom: It’s no Michael Jackson, but that’s a good cover.

Tim: Good strong beat throughout, which is always a plus. The verses aren’t all that interesting, but the song really comes alive in the chorus for sone proper hands waving in the air on the dance floor movement, and that redeems it nicely for me. I’ve got to say, though, that I’m a bit disappointed with what happened after the bridge, or more accurately what didn’t happen.

Tom: I know what you mean – I was expecting a big triumphant WHOOMPH out of that, and it didn’t happen.

Tim: Right – the bridge was pretty much just an empty bit of music; following that and the building line of music underneath the beginning of the echoey chorus up to 2:35, that needed something special. Perhaps not a key change (though it’s a while since we’ve seen a decent one here), but at least something to say WE’RE BACK.

Tom: If it’s key changes you’re looking for, you’re going to love this weekend’s Saturday Flashback.

Tim: Ooh, sir, how you do tease me.

Saturday Flashback: Kikki Danielsson & Dr. Alban – Papaya Coconut

Comfort food.

Tim: What is this, you ask? Well I have absolutely no idea at all. Occasionally when I’m looking for tracks I’ll check Swedish music charts, and for no reason that I can discern, this 13 year old version of a 25 year old song is near the top of the iTunes chart. So: what do you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8yj1aOIiU

Tom: Oh my word, it’s like I’m 13 again. How is something so objectively terrible so damned enjoyable?

Tim: Weird, isn’t it? But, is it objectively terrible (by our standards)? It certainly has great redeeming points – the dance backing behind the rapping verse bits is lots of fun, the steel drums add a nice summery feel, the ‘we can fly’ prevalent in the chorus is uplifting, if that’s what you’re looking for in this song (though there are undoubtedly far better ones) – and all in all they outweigh the admittedly numbers dodgy bits. Well, I reckon so.

Tom: I knew exactly what it was going to do before it did it – even down to the textbook mid-90s reggae-rap bit. It’s like comfort food, in a way: it’s not fancy, it’s not particularly good for you, but now and again… well, yes. I like this song.

Tim: Good. Good good good.

September – Party In My Head

Track one was pretty good and track two was pretty awful; track three?

Tim: This was announced a couple of weeks back as the third single off Love CPR (still hate that title), yet we’ve still not featured it. UNTIL NOW. Track one was pretty good and track two was pretty awful; track three?

Tim: I think: very good.

Tom: Whereas I think: oh.

Tim: Really? Much as with Me & My Microphone, it’s not the September we used to know when she first appeared; at times this could easily be a Ke$ha or Britney track, and yet it would be a very good Ke$ha or Britney track.

Tom: And I think it loses a lot for that. September’s tracks used to be melodic, anthemic, rousing stuff (remember “Cry For You”?) – this just doesn’t have the same kind of oomph. I can’t see All Around The World doing a dozen remixes of this.

Tim: Perhaps not, but it has a decent melody, autotune that, while unnecessary, isn’t totally offensive, and generally just – it sounds right. Not sure why – undoubtedly entirely subjective – but I like this a lot.

Tom: For once, I’m going to have to disagree. I don’t dislike it, it’s just… well, I reckon it should have stayed as an album track.

Tim: ‘For once’? Really?