Tim: Tom’s off sick at the moment, sadly, but never fear, I’m still here! YAY! So, here’s this, and there’s an interesting story behind this band: they were formed when singer Laure found the basics of a Basque-style opera while she was clearing out her recently deceased grandfather’s attic in Spain, and she and four mates decided to finish it. They did so, toured it a few years back, then kept going. Anyway, here’s their latest from last summer, with a trigger warning for ukuleles.
Tim: OOF, that’s chirpy, and unusually for me I don’t hate the fact that the ukulele is there to force the chirpiness, because it just works so well. I hear this, and I want to party. Party all night, and then we might as well party all day as well. Grab the maracas, do some form of drumming, whack the inevitable piñata, probably some beer pong going on somewhere as well. This here is a song all about having FUN, whatever the instrument, and I LOVE it.
Tom: We’ve covered lots of songs this year, Tim; this wasn’t one of them. In hindsight I think that was wrong, because inexplicably, more than two months after release, this is still on my regular playlist.
Tom: I say “inexplicably”, because on paper everything about this should annoy me. The repetitive chorus, for a start — and it doesn’t even have a counterpoint, the melody line underneath is repeating the exact same notes!
Tim: True.
Tom: The lyrics aren’t exactly clever; and the rap bit in the middle eight feels lazy, too. I shouldn’t be able to stand any of this.
Tim: That would be my prediction.
Tom: And yet, here I am. End of 2016. Still listening sometimes. Absolutely no idea why.
Tim: Simple: it works. As a call to arms to keep a party going, it’s got all it needs. It’s got stuff it doesn’t need – that appearance for Lil Yachty can certainly do one, in my view – but it’s hefty, powerful and beat-y. All as it should be.
Tom: Tim, we should tell our reader about a bit of the behind-the-scenes discussions we’ve had this year. With Christmas Eve falling on a Saturday, we’ve been hunting for a Saturday Flashback that’s suitably… Christmassy enough.
Tom: The trouble is, I’ve got zero Christmas spirit this year. You’ve sent me syrupy Christmas track after syrupy Christmas track, and while I could happily write a couple of hundred words ripping each of them apart, I just can’t bring myself to write anything positive. It’s rare for me to veto a track; to veto two in a row is entirely unheard of; but I killed three in a row here.
Tim: Reader, I’ve tried, I really have. It’s been distressing.
Tom: So I’ve suggested this. Because it’s simple: you can enjoy how Christmassy it is, and the fact that, unlike almost every other Christmas cash-in single, it’s actually pretty good. And I can shout the word “bell end” as loud as possible.
Tim: You remember Gregorian – they’re from Germany, and typically do covers of songs in a medieval chanting style.
Tom: For once, I actually do remember them. They… left an impression.
Tim: You’ll be ASTOUNDED to hear that they’ve made a Christmas album, cunningly entitled Christmas Chants. It’s hard to pick a stand-out track, largely because most of them are tedious and forgettable.
Tom: Like almost all Christmas songs. And almost all novelty Gregorian chant covers.
Tim: Cynical, but very true. However, there are a couple of gems on there. Try this.
Tim: It’s safe to say this has always been a somewhat ridiculous (albeit excellent) track, what with the whole reimagining of Jesus being from space, and the idea that something weird like God aliens impregnating a woman does indeed happen every couple of thousand years (genuinely, it came from a poem and everything).
Tom: I think my main complaint about this track is the phrase “light years of time”. Light years are a distance, damn it.
Tim: Top marks for pedantry. Reimagining the song as a Gregorian chant (which it definitely is and I won’t have you convince me any other way) doesn’t really do anything to change the ridiculousness – in fact, the ah-ah-ah-ah-etc almost sounds more suited here than with Chris de Burgh’s original, which basically amounts to yelling.
Tom: If you ignore the lyrics, it almost sounds like a genuine religious chant. I’ll give them that. But aside from that: just no.
Tim: Either way, though, guess we need to start preparing for those aliens.
“It seems more like they wanted to do a Christmas song.”
Tim: It’s December, I’m waking up to sub-zero temperatures, and Christmas tracks are all out in force, so LET’S JOIN IN, but we’ll begin with a Yuletide tale of days gone by.
Tom: And I’ll provide a bit of context for our new reader: over December, Tim sends me Christmas tracks. I’m a lot more cynical about Christmas music than he is. Actually, I’m a lot more cynical about many things than he is, but here it’s just a bit more obvious.
Tim: And every year, I change to change his mind. So, waaaaaaaaay way back when, in their 1996 heyday, Backstreet Boys did a Christmas song, Christmas Time. It was typical Backstreet Boys ballad and, much like *NSync’s one, was ill-advised and generally a bit shit.
Tom: That’s 99% of Christmas music right there.
Tim: Sixteen years later, though, when they got back together they decided to have another go, with a pleasing self-referential title.
Tim: And that’s one that’s really not shit. It seems more like they wanted to do a Christmas song, rather than were just told “you need to do a Christmas song so we can release a Christmas version of this album”.
Tom: It’s not like they just took an old track and added some sleigh bells over the top. It’s actually not all that bad, is it?
Tim: I don’t know if it’s partly just because I’m judging it from a 2016 perspective – 20 years ago the first may have seemed perfectly acceptable – but this is just so much more fun. More life, more instruments, more general bangingness…
Tom: Excuse me?
Tim: You heard. Quite surprised I’ve never used that word before, to be honest. Still, though, they’re keeping in all the standard bells, chimes and twinkliness of a typical track.
Tom: And some incredibly unflattering artwork. But yes, I’ll grant you, this is at least above average as Christmas tracks go.
Tim: Ah, we’re off to a good start then. Incidentally, what first drew my attention to this was the fact that the typically reliable Ida LaFontaine covered it last year; it’s not on YouTube, tediously, but is very much worth seeking out on Spotify or Apple Music or indeed any other musical provider, whatever floats your festive boat.
Tim: Last Saturday you pointed out that Roger was a rather mundane name for a singer of a great song, which in turn reminded me that one of the biggest dance tracks of the year was by an act with a name better suited to a middle aged accountant than to a superstar DJ; I then discovered that there are TWO remix EPs of said track, and this here’s a good one.
Tim: You see, I love the way that plays with the speed there.
Tom: That’s a rare technique: I’d expect my brain to reject it for being different, but no, somehow it works.
Tim: I cut to forty seconds in because for some reason the YouTube version gets going at the high speed, which kind of spoils it – when I first heard it it took me quite by surprise, and I was tied between “oh, this is weird” and “oh, this is brilliant”, and I very soon came down on the side of the latter. I don’t know if it’s the novelty of it – I certainly never felt the original was too slow – but it suddenly seems a whole lot more exciting, and I love that.
Tom: Admittedly the synth pads sound a bit like they’re from 90s eurodance, but you know what? I like 90s eurodance. I like this.
Tim: Tom, I’m looking forward to December, because my word have I got some Christmas Flashbacks for you. But in the meantime, let’s turn the clock back 22½ years, to Sweden’s entry to Eurovision 1994, back in the days of live orchestra and national languages only.
Tom: Thanks for reminding me how long ago 1994 was.
Tom: Blimey, what a voice he’s got! You don’t hear voices like that in pop these days. And all the orchestration is so 90s. I can’t remember ever hearing that before, and I still feel nostalgic.
Tim: Title translates to ‘Stars’, with the titular ones being those that light up the night and power our love. The verses are are bit dull, but oh that chorus really did make me feel all warm and snuggly inside. You might not be able to sing in English, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean you can’t get your message across, and here it just sounds so lovely, doesn’t it?
Tom: Bonus points for the styling too. And yet, his name is the incredibly mundane “Roger”. Roger.
Tim: True, but don’t forget that even now we live in a world where one of the biggest tracks of the year is by a guy called Alan. It’s hard to judge a Eurovision performance from back then now, of course, but I will comment that I’m not keen on her dementor look for the first verse, and quite what’s going on with his hair/carpet dress thing I’ve no idea. But all over it’s lovely.
Tim: This was suggested by our reader Sophie; it’s from 2013, and is a song with a message to deliver.
Tim: And it’s a fair message.
Tom: Bluntly delivered.
Tim: We could debate for a long time how relevant it still is, and certainly about how times are changing – one of the guys from Union J came out while they were still on The X Factor and it didn’t hurt their placing; Olly Alexander’s one of the most vocal gay pop stars out there and his career’s going strong, even if he did recently admit to fancying Jeremy Corbyn. On the other hand, the fact that the only ones that come to mind straight away are those two and Joe McElderry probably does speak volumes.
Tom: Well, Adam Lambert, Sam Smith, Tegan and Sara, and a few others come to mind immediately.
Tim: Oh, yes – man, how did I forget the only openly gay man to ever win an Oscar? Hopefully it won’t, like the song suggests, be that way forever; in the meantime, though, it’s an enjoyable song.
Tom: It is, and it’s well-written, but here’s my problem with it: it’s occupying a weird middle ground between pop song and comedy song. The lyrics in that first verse set me up for something in the style of Tim Minchin, so I was expecting something… not necessarily laugh-out-loud funny, but at least a bit clever. Instead, it never went anywhere: hence my saying it’s bluntly delivered.
Tim: Hmm, good point – I must say I did laugh at the end of the first verse when he cut out before saying that outright, as I didn’t realise where it was going.
Tom: That might well be what they’re going for: but, you know, at least change the final chorus around or something like that.
Tim: Yesterday’s song reminded me of this track, and I ummed and ahhed a lot about whether to link to Tracy Chapman’s original or this cover; in the end though, it was Friday, so it had to be tropical.
Tim: And yes, I’m well aware that many people think of this in the same way sensible people think about Calum Scott’s version of Dancing On My Own – namely, that anyone who even considers playing it should be hung, drawn and quartered. I, though, disagree.
Tom: It’s changing the emotion, sure, but at least it’s not changing it to Mopey Bloke With A Guitar.
Tim: It’s arguably a not too distant predecessor of the covers of Never Gonna Give You Up and Africa, and for me this is very much on the Africa side of the spectrum, in that I like it. It took me a while to get used to it, mainly because the original was forcibly drummed into my head several times a day on a family holiday in France when it was my sister’s favourite.
Tom: There’s a long history of remixes and covers changing the mood: on a first or second listen, that synth does seem to get in the way rather a lot. It’s loud, it’s reedy, and it’s not entirely pleasant.
Tim: Ah, but after a while, though: it’s good. It has the similar melancholiness to it, but a contrasting beat underneath which helps distract from the incredibly depressing lyrics. And that’s always helpful.
“4 and a bit minutes denigrating the entire human race.”
Tim: This was anonymously suggested following our occasional “unconventional messages” theme, and, well, it certainly fits the bill.
Tim: Certainly takes a fair amount of guts to start a song off with “Murder lives forever and so does war”, and even more to spend the next 4 and a bit minutes denigrating the entire human race. It was never released as a single because, well, even if it’s true it’s hardly a message people are likely to rush out and pay to be told. On the other hand: it’s not an unenjoyable track, and after a few listens it’s actually quite catchy, so I’m happy with it.
Tom: It’s a grower, isn’t it? Mind you, a lot of that album is: I remember really disliking it on first listen, but hearing it back months later I can still remember the melodies. I still don’t like it — but I can remember it, and that’s a start.
