Category: Saturday Reject

Saturday Reject: After Dark – Kom Ut Som En Stjärna

“Unexpected. And then, unexpectedly good.”

Tim: There’s a school of thought that reckons Anna Book actually did herself a favour getting kicked out – as a schlager track, it went down very well as an interval performance, inside the stadium and outside, but would likely have been utterly rejected by the voters had it actually been competing. This track, ending up as it did in seventh place, adds a lot of weight to that.

Tom: Well, that was unexpected. And then, unexpectedly good. That’s a really good chorus: riffing on I Will Survive, and a half-dozen other disco classics, but never actually quite going there.

Tim: A drag act with a chorus of “come out like a star, glisten after dark, take a step into the light as your true self, open the closet, time for your entrance, come out like a star, a true superstar”.

Tom: Mm. I feel I’ve seen that schtick somewhere before. Oh, yes: that would be on stage, in Copenhagen, in Eurovision 2014.

Tim: Yes, and there it was big DRAMA taking itself very seriously; here it’s less so, instead being just plain camp, more for entertainment than for a political statement. Directly talking about how great Lady Gaga, Madonna, Beyoncé and Cher are, and a key change that goes through the ceiling. It brings an enormous reaction in the stadium, but that heart barely starts beating.

Tom: Could you explain that heart? Is it some sort of live-voting thing?

Tim: Pretty much – the intensity of the heart, which goes from grey to lightning-zapping pink, via dark purple and quiet pink, represents the number of app votes that are coming in for each song, which can only be done while the song is on. Brought in a couple of years ago, apparently to make viewers feel more involved with the show. And here it shows – Sweden knows this is a song that would be awful for Eurovision, but is just so enjoyable to watch – and I’m fully in agreement with that.

Saturday Reject: Markus Riva – I Can

“If the whole song was as good as that chorus…”

Tim: We had “Eurovision: You Decide”. Sweden has “Melodifestivalen”. Latvia has “SUPERNOVA”. And with songs like this? Not necessarily an overstatement.

Tom: A bit of a lower-budget show, not quite the polished perfection of Sweden’s arena show, but I’m willing to bet it will have been better than our effort.

Tim: Well, as it happens, matey, we had Måns, Katrina off Katrina & The Waves and a tribute to Terry Wogan, so NOPE. This came third in the semi-final televotes (though first in its original heat), so just missed out on the final because the jurors didn’t like it. And what a shame that is, because that’s a great song. It might partly be because it’s called I Can, a title which so far has a 100% success rate for producing great tracks, but mostly it’s because of the lyrics, the music, the lights (which are about as good as you get here, despite the SUPERNOVA branding). Upbeat, fulfilling, inspiring, just excellent.

Tom: It’s a cracking chorus, that’s for sure. If the whole song was as good as that chorus, this’d be looking at a top-10 placing in the final, I reckon. But I’m really not sure about that verse: it’s too slow, too dull, and… ugh.

Tim: Yeah? Because for me, the only downfall is the middle eight, which I’ve a couple of niggles with: there really should be a good few more lyrics there, though I can understand wanting to bring a chantable portion to a non-English speaking audience, and I’d have left the key change until after that last pre-chorus, because those notes sound a bit unpleasant to my ears.

Tom: Agreed about the odd change down, but I do like the rest of it.

Tim: Other than those two bits, though: I think is great, and also that it’s just a shame He Couldn’t.

Tom: Harsh. Fair, but harsh.

Saturday Reject: Krista Siegfrids – Faller

“Sometimes a song comes along destined for fifth place”

Tim: It wasn’t all about the final at this year’s Melodifestivalen, of course – a sizeable of decent tracks got knocked out beforehand, such as this, from Krista – you remember, her who gave you a panic attack three years ago when she wanted to represent Finland. Now she’s dressed sensibly, competing to represent Sweden with some pretty excellent floor lighting. Song title translates as “Falling”, as in “I’m falling for you”.

Tom: That side look and slight twitch-wink to camera in the first verse still startled me though.

Tim: Sometimes a song comes along destined for fifth place – easily good enough not to be kicked out in the bottom two, but when compared with the others in the top five, not quite strong enough to make it through to the next round. A few weeks back we had Mimi Werner, and we can add Krista to that list.

Tom: Yep, that’s what I was going to say. It’s a bit too monotone, a bit too all-the-same. Even some great steadicam shots and projection-mapping floor designs can’t save that.

Tim: No – it is a very good pop song being well performed with excellent visual production – but apparently nothing quite special enough for Melodifestivalen. A shame, because I do think this is very good – easily good enough to make its way onto my playlist of rejects – but it’s just that sort of ruthless competition.

Saturday Reject: Gregorian – Masters of Chant

“Laser-equipped knuckledusters”

Tim: Germany this year was a good watch – out of ten entries, seven were enjoyable (and somehow one of the others got through to the final three, but never mind).

Tom: And then… then there was this one?

Tim: Oh no, this is a very enjoyable one. It’s the one that hits the “yes it’s a novelty but then so was Lordi and look at them” mark. Infuriatingly, there’s no proper version online, so we’ll have to make do with the crappy audience recording.

Tim: Sure, for the first fifty seconds you’re there thinking “oh bloody hell what is this nonsense” but then the chorus hits and suddenly you’re in Hans Zimmer soundtrack territory.

Tom: Which, incidentally, means they’re not doing a bloody Gregorian chant, because that’s monophonic and on a very limited scale.

Tim: Ooh, pedantic, though technically accurate. Second verse, they bring out the soprano with the less impressive vocal, but then the others have all got laser-equipped knuckledusters so you don’t care. Final chorus, we’re back in soundtrack territory and you’ve got the lighting change which really brings out the flames, the film suddenly taking a trip to the underworld for a terrific climax.

Tom: It’s… actually not bad. The lyrics are ludicrous, but it’s more listenable — and certainly more memorable — than a lot of Eurovision entries.

Tim: Would it have won Eurovision? Absolutely not. But would it have been entertaining, and maybe a decent track for Germany to send anyway, given that they’re guaranteed a place in the final? I think: absolutely yes.

Tom: Remember LT United? Yes you do. And that’s the point.

SaRaha – Kizunguzungu

“Spoiler alert: the only key change to have made it through.”

Tim: Our last trip to this year’s Melodifestivalen final, then, with this, the most colourful entry and (spoiler alert) the only key change to have made it through.

Tom: It’s also “Rainmaker“. You should know, Tim, you were in the front row with me getting splashed. Anyway.

Tim: This was written by SaRaha, along with Anderz Wrethov, who seems to get around a bit – he was also behind both David Lindgren and Samir & Victor’s finalist songs. The main influence on the song, both in lyrics and genre, seems to come from her upbringing in Tanzania, with the pre-chorus in Swahili and the title translating to Dizziness. And it’s a good track.

Tom: Damn right: this was one of my absolute favourites, and I’m sad it didn’t do any better.

Tim: Yes, the focus is on that African sound, but you’ve got plenty of modern touches going on through, starting right from the start with that distorted backing vocal.

Tom: Although it’s worth pointing out that under Eurovision rules, that’d have to be performed live. It didn’t work well for our entry last year.

Tim: On top of all of that, well, that combination of key change, catherine wheels and confetti explosion is just excellent. A worthy finalist indeed.

Saturday Reject: Bianca – Shine A Little Light

“Iit would have made a fairly decent Leona track”

Tim: The other British one that was better that Joe & Jake’s, and in fact co-written by Leona Lewis – whether it was specifically commissioned for Eurovision or just one she wrote a while back but didn’t want for herself has yet to be revealed.

Tom: I wasn’t convinced by this at the start, but blimey: that’s not bad.

Tim: And it would have made a fairly decent Leona track, as indeed it made a decent song for Bianca [Surname Unknown] to perform. Commercial success in Britain? Right now, probably not – there’s a reason Leona’s busy writing and not singing – but I reckon this has massive cross-country appeal, and could have done very well for us.

Tom: It’s true that the field is going to be crowded with Zelmerlikes this year, and a strong female power ballad will probably do well. That middle eight’s lovely too — and for once, the vocal mix actually works.

Tim: Big melody, great vocals, hefty chorus, nice arty decoration at the back, and it has a title about shining light, so what’s not to like? It got the biggest cheers in the audience, the most lavishly heaped praise from the panel, just sadly not the highest amount of votes. Joe & Jake: it’s all on you.

Saturday Reject: Karl William Lund – Miracle

“Talk about a seriously missed opportunity here.”

Tim: EXCITING MOMENT HERE, as for the first time we have some BRITISH rejects to sort through! Let’s start with this, one of the two that were quite a bit better than Joe & Jake.

Tim: BLOODY HELL I had to break eye contact with the screen during that intro. That is quite the look he’s got going on there.

Tim: Yes, so let’s talk about that; in fact, the look of everything. Because you’ve got yourself a nice dance track, with a hefty beat (if you replaced all the choruses with the final one, but that’s a niggle) and a great “oh-oh-ohh” structure to your chorus that people can chant along with.

Tom: Top-quality vocals as well: he’s hitting every note near-perfectly.

Tim: Right – the song is excellent. But what do you get the performer actually doing? Standing stock still in the middle of stage looking like he’s stopped off on his way home from work. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Christ on a bike, talk about a seriously missed opportunity here.

Tom: Agreed. And I hear what you said earlier this week about the vocals sounding weedy on television: whoever did the mix for this shouldn’t be let anywhere near an event like this again. Broadway concerts? Sure. The Proms? Yeah, maybe. But pop music? That’s not how you mix it!

Tim: What we should have here – well, NEED – along with a proper sound mix, is all the lights on, him wearing something along the lines of what Måns was wearing last year, and moving and jumping around to get everybody enthused. Just one of those three would have helped – instead, you’re wearing a bloody tie pin. WHAT A SILLY BILLY.

Saturday Reject: Anja Nissen – Never Alone

Tim: Picture the scene: you’re a Danish voter, three songs to choose from (previously whittled down from ten by a mixture of televotes and jury).

One is a pretty good song sung by a very competent lady, one’s a very good song sung by three remarkably good looking men, and one’s an incredible song. GUESS WHICH ONE 42% PICKED.

In second place, with 36% of the vote, was the last of those three. Denmark, you screwed up.

Tom: Are you sure about that? Because this isn’t a bad song, but it’s not incredible.

Tim: Well okay, not incredible, but it’s certainly a hell of a lot better than “not bad”. Anja’s credentials are decent enough: half-Danish and half-Australian, she won the 2014 Australian series of The Voice and has since had, well, more success than your average winner of The Voice has had.

Tom: But her vocals aren’t flawless here. Don’t get me wrong, they’re good, and those soaring notes at the end are just spectacular — but there are some dodgy bits, particularly in the opening verse, and a televote is going to punish you for that.

Tim: You know, watching it back those weaknesses so become more apparent, but in the heat of the moment, and when everything’s finished off with the catchiness of the melody, the strength of the vocals, the wings effect shamelessly lifted from Conchita and ALL THOSE DAMN SPARKS, I was sure it was a shoe-in for the entry.

Tom: That’s because it’s basically “Only Teardrops”.

Tim: Can’t deny there are similarities, admittedly, and it was up against some tough competition. But OH WELL.

It’s not as if I’ve never voted for a weaker entry because of a singer’s looks (OH HI BEN HAENOW), so I can’t exactly cast much admonishment in that area. Guess we’ll just wait and see.

Saturday Reject: Mimi Werner – Ain’t No Good

“This song deserved to go so, so far”

Tim: Sweden owes this lady an apology, because they voted both Victor & Samir and a less good Victor & Samir through in heat one, but shamefully cast this one aside.

Tom: That’s because the verses are basically the verses from “Jolene”. I’ll grant you the chorus is a bit more original, though. Why do you like it so much?

Tim: Because oh, this song deserved to go so, so far, and I would happily have put money on that actually going directly to the final. Maybe hoedown isn’t the biggest genre in the world right now, but dammit it’s still a whole lot of fun, and mixing that big chorus with the slightly gentler pop vocals in the verses for me just works very well indeed.

Tom: It does — and that middle eight and key change are just wonderful.

Tim: Maybe it’s the fact that she’s a new artist – first EP’s not released for another month or so, and incidentally was recorded in Nashville.

Tom: Maybe? But I’ve got a different theory. We’ve seen this before: it’s what Texas Lightning did ten years ago. That is to say, catchy, country, key change: but not remotely a vote-winner.

Tim: True, perhaps, but first round exit? Just harsh.

Tom: Incidentally, how good was 2006’s Eurovision? Lordi. The mad Lithuanians with “We Are The Winners”. And the bizarre British entry of which we do not speak. Let’s hope it’s that good this year.

Tim: We do not speak? Mate, Daz was GLORIOUS. You’re thinking of 2008. In any case, you’re forgetting the best of all: the incredible Charlotte Perrelli performing Invincible with Those Trousers and That Dress.

Saturday Reject: Corazon – Falling Glass

“Structure and growth. And cleavage.”

Tim: Three months to go, so let’s have a wander around Europe and see which songs weren’t considered quite good enough to represent their country at Eurovision. We start with this from Malta, placing 7th out of 20 contestants.

Tim: So, ANALYSIS, and I think the main problem here is structure, and growth.

Tom: And cleavage. Sorry, what?

Tim: Structure and growth, Tom, please pay attention. Because we like both of those things, and for the first two thirds of this song they work together absolutely perfectly. First verse, quiet, STANDARD. First chorus, build on that, STANDARD. Second verse, build some more, WHAT, because this is not meant to happen. We’ve got a whole euphoric trance layer suddenly appearing and it’s WONDERFUL, so MORE THAN full marks so far. Second chorus, build up again, STANDARD but still ABOVE EXPECTED.

Tom: Yep, that trance beat took me by surprise too: I thought this was going to be by-the-numbers, and I was surprised. Then I thought it was going to be MASSIVE in the final chorus, and…

Tim: But then. BUT THEN. Oh, why? What happened? Dip for the middle eight, fine, but then you need, NEED, to come back with an explosion, especially if you’ve set expectations that high. You’re building, building, building, and then…flatline. Nothing more than you had for the second chorus.

Tom: To be fair, even that second chorus wasn’t exactly euphoric. A great opportunity, wasted.

Tim: Yep – and then at the end you’re only saying thank you to the crowd, rather than yelling it out with a massive grin on your face. Oh, Corazon.