Tom: Ladies and gentlemen, this is how you open a Eurovision Song Contest. And get a hit single out of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXNMb5DRgN8
Tom: It’s worth mentioning that Stefan Raab is also the only Eurovision host who could reliably pull this off, too. It’s hard to describe him, because there’s no British equivalent: imagine a young Bruce Forsyth crossed with Simon Cowell and you’re vaguely in the right area.
Tim: That’s quite a crossing.
Tom: It is, but it fits: he’s their Cowell-equivalent on talent shows, he wrote the now-legendary “Guildo hat euch lieb” – yes, that one – and yet he’s still popular enough to star in a 4-5 hour light entertainment special once or twice a year.
Anyway: It’s hard for me to overstate how much I disliked ‘Satellite’, Lena’s 2010 Eurovision-winner.
Tim: As a song in general, or as a Eurovision winner? Because although I never liked it that much, I didn’t think it was too bad.
Tom: Both, really. Her bizarre pronunciation, the Ting Tings-like backing, the way the melody just kept disappearing into nothing.
Tim: All fair points, I suppose.
Tom: But as a big band number, it’s perfect, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better Eurovision opener.
Tim: I think on that note, you could be right.