Tom: The first few seconds of this, you’re going to think “why has Tom sent me this, it sounds terrible”. And then it’ll start to build, and build, and then…
Tim: …and then it stays terrible.
Tom: I was not expecting that, and it took me about two minutes into the track to get used to it.
Tim: I was, after the disappointment following that initial build, and then it kept going.
Tom: And here’s the thing: based on the accent of the vocals, the style of the music, and the video, I assumed this was some newly-discovered producer out of one of the less-poncy bits of London. Nope. Completely and utterly wrong.
Tim: Yes, yes it is. You don’t remember I Wanna Be U?
Tom: Chocolate Puma is in fact two Dutch producers called — and I swear I’m not making this up — Gaston and René, who’ve been in the business for more than 20 years and who look more like they’re trying out to be extras in a Guy Ritchie gangster film.
Tim: Oh that much I didn’t know. Doesn’t change my opinion of this track, though.
Tom: Now, I suspect that’s actually more interesting than the song, which — I reckon — is a serviceable dance track.
Tim: Eehhhh, maybe. In certain clubs, but it’s not going to go mainstream any time soon, pleasingly for me.
Tom: It’s probably not going to be a floorfiller in the UK without a decent remix, but I reckon it’ll find a decent audience for itself.