Tim: At the risk of influencing your view, I’m going to come straight out and say that I find this stunningly mediocre. But let’s discuss it anyway.
Tom: That introduction is nicely, and then… then he starts singing.
Tim: It’s not the greatest, is it? But you see, if we split it up, we have the opening bits, being boring, dull and autotuned to the point of musical extinction. We move to the chorus, which starts to improve, and then as the chorus reaches its peak it could be described as pretty good.
Tom: The whuy-uy-uy bits don’t work for me, but I’ll admit that the main bit of the (long) chorus isn’t bad.
Tim: Catchy, perhaps (though it’s worth noting that a lot of truly horrific songs are quite catchy too).
Tom: The verses really start to grate for me after a while. The backing is a bit too monotonous, the melody a bit dirge-like – even the good bit of the chorus can’t push it above average.
Tim: True – overall, it sort of averages out, to, well, average, but while it alters a bit over time, getting gradually better and more lifelike, it never really manages to do anything special.
So now that’s done, let’s move on to the next one.