Tom: How many people will still remember the Week 5 rejects from 2011 X Factor, I wonder?
Tim: Bloody hell, that was quick – a video uploaded less than a week after the show finished.
Tom: 2011, Tim. Which doesn’t say much for your memory.
Tim: Oh, thank God – I was wondering how I’d managed to forget them in less than three months. Erm, but still, pretty much no-one.
Tom: And a quick warning: someone’s pushed the WUB WUB WUB button on their production console.
Tom: This could be brilliant if it weren’t for those wubs.
Tim: Oh. Oh, I like that. And actually, I disagree. Certainly for the first part, if it wasn’t for those, this would be standard boyband dirge without decent writers. With them, there is at least a distinctive sound.
Tom: There’s the timpani roll during the bridge, the euphoric build, everything gearing up for a triumphant final chorus… and instead we get some WUBs, some only-vaguely-harmonised lyrics and and a slow outro.
Tim: There, I completely agree – that closing part is practically a crime against pop. I still stand by my first point, but God, what a let down that is.
Tom: Also: “We’re like missiles in the sky. We go up, up, up […] we blow up, up, up.” Not quite sure about that metaphor, lads.