Tom: I had an extended metaphor about how this single’s been leaking more than their fans, but I thought I’d probably just leave that punchline there and never mention it again.
So, we’ve mentioned in the past that bad charity singles shouldn’t be spared a mauling because they’re “for charity”. And let’s face it: this could be four minutes of One Direction belching into a microphone and the fans would still buy it. So given that low bar: is the Comic Relief single any good?
Tom: Well… it’s OK. It’s a competent if unnecessary Blondie cover, but it’s probably a good idea not to try unreliable original material on something that’s raising money for charity.
Tim: It is… exactly how I’d expect a One Direction cover of Blondie to sound. Still their usual sound, but a bit heavier on the guitars.
Tom: What gets me is the bizarre switch to Teenage Kicks half way through. I’m all for live mashups – I once saw Smash Up Derby live, and they were really very good – but just chucking in one line from it as a middle eight seems odd.
Tim: It’s odd, yes, but it livens it up a bit – decent as it is, and despite being less than three minutes long, I can imagine it starting to get a bit repetitive if that wasn’t there. The video is, obviously, your standard charity appeal song video – lots of shots in Africa, a “we’re saving money” message, and a woefully cringeworthy appearance from some politician.
Tom: To be fair, I did giggle at the first appearance – it’s the kind of understated cameo that works really well. And then he came back.
But never mind that: it’s probably the surest bet for number one since Elton John dusted off “Candle in the Wind”.
Tim: Well, I don’t really know what to say to that. But you’re not wrong.