Tom: All right, here’s the Big Goodbye single. Here’s the Never Forget. From here, it’s the long road to the ten-year reunion tour, then the fifteen-year reunion tour that Zayn joins them again for. This is what they leave their fans with. This is what’ll bring the tears. And it’s….
Tom: …really good.
Tim: Aye, it’s decent enough.
Tom: I was expecting big, overblown production, but it’s not. That’s really pleasant. Not minimalist, by any means, but they’re letting the voices and the harmonies take it, and there’s a lovely build throughout the song. That bass chord progression could have come straight from fifty years ago, but that’s not a bad thing: this is a Damn Good Final Track.
Tim: Yep: lyrics say it all, really, especially that middle eight which is really something. That video is what really works for me, mind – I like how they didn’t cut Zayn out of any of it, just showed all the triumphs of these past few years.
Tom: And that video outro, with all four walking in different directions? That’s what’ll bring the tears.
Tim: You say that, but I reckon that wall finished six inches outside the camera shot and they’re turning behind it immediately to an open bar.
Tom: Really not sure about Liam’s hat, though. Or is that Louis? I still can’t tell them apart.
Tim: First release since they announced the upcoming split, so it had better be a good one.
Tom: Why is Niall playing golf? Why does the director love dolly pulls so much? Why do they have a shared apartment with butlers? Why does Harry have a tie like Colonel Sanders? Mysteries all.
It’s worth flagging up, though: this video shows the separate directions (no pun intended) that they’re all heading in. A producer; a songwriter; a performer; and the other one.
Tim: Yes, you could be be right there. Poor old Niall. Still, looking at the present, I’d wager that this is their best since Best Song Ever. Why? Well, aside from their songs in between not being as great as we’d like – sure, FOUR was a good album, but there was no massively rousing pop on there, most of Midnight Memories was just a racket, and Drag Me Down was a tad dull – we’re back to the excellent power pop, and we’ve even got the occasional synth thrown in on top.
Tom: Well, we have, but I reckon there’s a reason for that. Listen to those lyrics in the middle eight:
and if you like cameras flashing every time we go out / and if you’re looking for someone to write your break-up songs about
Sung by Harry. Who used to date Taylor Swift. Who’s known for writing break-up songs about past boyfriends.
Tim: OOF, hidden message alert.
Tom: And here’s the clincher: this is in the style of Style. Listen to that chorus: it’s almost the same chorus. Or better just listen to both of them mashed up together. (Skip to 2:42.)
Tim: Okay, you’ve got a point. Still, if it worked with her, it’ll probably work for these guys, and who needs more that what we’ve got? No one, really, but that doesn’t mean they’ve stopped there – along with the melody, the voices are as on point as ever, and while the “sure, I’m not technically a great boyfriend but basically I am” variant isn’t particularly original, what lyrical narrative is?
Tom: Yep: my theorising aside, this is still a really good track.
Tim: Basically, they are back well on top of their game, which means that everybody will be just that keen for them to get back together three years from now. Job’s a good’un.
Tim: So, last week One Direction Beyoncéd a single on iTunes and yesterday it got to number one, setting some sort of streaming record along the way. That upsets me, because FOUR, presumably now part of history, was one of the best guitar pop albums of ages, and here’s an excellent demonstration.
Tom: Pity they didn’t name it “FOUR” after Zayn left, really. You know, I suspect I’m not going to be the first one to make that joke.
Tom: Huh. You know, I think you’re right: that’s a really good song.
Tim: Other tracks I can recommend include Ready To Run and, if you’re feeling a bit melty, Fool’s Gold. I listened to the album a LOT on my skiing holiday, not entirely sure why I chose that opportunity, but I enjoyed being able to control my phone through the ridiculously expensive goggles that I bought and then immediately returned.
Tom: Is that… that’s not name-dropping, but I’m going to invent the term “posh-dropping” for what you just did.
Tim: I’m getting distracted, I think, but basically maybe if Zayn hadn’t left we’d have had this as another release which would’ve been nice. It’s not flawless, of course – there’s the dickish idea that just because you’ve been dumped by one of these guys you’ve had your heart broken (sorry lads, you’re not necessarily all that), but damn that’s some good music. Oh, just get hold of the album and listen to it all, won’t you?
Tim: A good article, worth a read, but first let’s all hear this again.
Tom: Good heavens, I hadn’t seen that video before. That’s an astonishing video for two reasons. First, the choice to make it first person, which must have set hearts a-flutter. But secondly: I’ve never seen a video so explicitly mark out the hierarchy of a band before. The board games and that jumper make it clear: if Niall had left, there wouldn’t be quite so many concerns about whether the band will make it to 2016.
Tim: You could be right – and that’s one of the reasons why on Friday afternoon, when the news finally hit me, I may or may not have had a listen to the acoustic version of this, tears silently rolling down my face, wondering whether things would ever truly be the same again.
Tom: Sorry, what?
Tim: Erm, yes, I’ll leave it to you to work out which elements of that sentence are true, but there’s no denying this is a pretty good track.
Tom: Right. Yes, and it’s a surprisingly “grown-up” track as well: there’s not much talk about “getting older” in songs aimed at teenagers.
Tim: It’s not the best boyband ballad – that title clearly goes to My Love – but there aren’t a huge many that better it, certainly not that acoustic version. You’ll be missed, Zayn, and not just because no-one else will be able to hit those high notes.
Tim: You may or may not remember Perfect Day, the Lou Reed cover that the BBC put together back in 1997 that had just about every artist in the world in it.
Tom: Remember it? I think it was the first single I bought. Charity and all.
Tim: Well, they’ve gone and done something similar with this Beach Boys track seventeen years later. This got broadcast on every channel and station last night (except Radio 3, who were busy playing Brahms) both to promote the new BBC Music thing and to raise money for Comic Relief. Shall we?
Tim: Hmm.
Tom: “Hmm” is right.
Tim: Well, I think the first question we should all be asking is what on Earth is going on with Louis and Niall’s hair –
Tom: I was going to mention that.
Tim: – but musically I’m going to say…ehhh. It’s a track, certainly, and it’s musical, for the most part it’s very enjoyable.
Tom: But it’s not Perfect Day. Am I looking back with rose-tinted spectacles? Possibly, but I can remember being absolutely blown away by Perfect Day when it first appeared on TV — here, they seem to be dazzling with ridiculous CGI rather than just good music.
Tim: The only criticism I have is that I’m really not sure the orchestral/chorus break sounds right. I get that they want to indicate that it’s about all types of music, but I think if you want to do that, make it longer.
Tom: Right! Yes! Perfect Day is busy, but it never approaches anywhere near “cacophony”. There’s not room enough to breathe in here. The instrumental break of Perfect Day was one very good solo: here, we’ve got loads of instruments and vocalists, and each one gets a pause to itself. And Brian May crowbars his trademark guitar sound in. It doesn’t work.
Tim: I’m usually the first to complain that a track’s too long, but you’re barely pushing two and a half minutes there, and I don’t think anyone’d begrudge you an extra minute to fit it together better.
Tom: Also, let’s be clear about that video: Brian Wilson has the haunted look of someone who has no idea what’s going on.
Tim: Still, gets the point across, and it’s good enough to listen to. Makes the right point about how important music is to them, and at a time when people are having a go at the BBC right, right and further right, it’s nice to have them showing off what they can do. And beg for our support, which I suppose is a more cynical and probably unfair way of looking at the lyrics. So I’ll close by saying: great idea, not quite so great execution, but good enough for me.
“Strong piano riff. I’m sure I’ve heard it before.”
Tim: Previously we’ve covered new One Direction tracks as soon as they’re out; this year, though…
Tom: We missed them releasing a track?
Tim: No, but I thought it’d be more fun to wait for the inevitable plagiarism allegations to hit, and see which slightly-past-it musician wants to get in the headlines by kicking up a fuss.
Tom: To be fair, Best Song Ever did sound really like Baba O’Reilly.
Tim: Well, possibly. But we should probably hear the new track first, so here it is.
Tom: Strong piano riff. I’m sure I’ve heard it before.
Tim: Possibly, at least according to Chad Gilbert from New Found Glory, who may or may not have an album coming out next week. He reckons they’ve stolen the intro from his 2006 track It’s Not Your Fault, which charted precisely nowhere. Hmm. Admittedly there’s a similarity, but he curiously declined to answer the question of whether he in turn ripped off Journey’s considerably more successful 1983 track Faithfully.
Tom: That’s where I’ve heard it before! There’s a whole lot of new stuff over the top of it though.
Tim: Chad did, though, go on to say that “Music influences music. No one cares.” Who’d have thought it?
Back to the track that matters, though, and if it is a deliberate ripoff then the writers must have been incredibly confident they wouldn’t get sued, because that is basically the track. Over and over and over, with a few words thrown on top for good measure. Fortunately, that piano riff is a very good one, which means we can do our best to ignore the incredibly narcissistic and almost disturbingly possessive lyrics which don’t have anywhere near the same sense of fun and enjoyment they had a couple of years ago.
Tom: “I don’t exist if I don’t have her.” I’m not sure those lyrics work any more in a world where Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé, and dozens of others are more at the top of the charts and out in the public consciousness. Let’s have less of the possession, hm?
Tim: Still, very catchy, very clappy and very enjoyable – I’ll take it.
Tim: Ha, as well you should be — the boys decided yesterday to round off the beginning of September with plonking a new track online, in full Beyoncé style, with no warning whatsoever, for anyone and everyone to download.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEjqrbPXGlw
Tim: And I think we can all be entirely relieved that they’ve basically forgotten about that whole ‘rock’ thing – seemingly, their musical journey has done the rebellious teenager bit and is now ready to go back to sensible stuff. Or perhaps they just noticed that Midnight Memories was considerably less successful than either of their previous two offerings – too cynical?
Tom: Perhaps they’ve just got the same Third Album Syndrome as Lady Gaga?
Tim: Could well be, yes. To be honest, I don’t know what I think about this – sure, it’s decent enough, and there are a number of good things to say about it, maybe, I think? I don’t know, really. It doesn’t seem like a lead single.
Tom: Well, I’m going to be a bit more forthright: if this wasn’t a One Direction track, it’d sink without a trace.
Tim: I don’t want to describe it as standard, even though it basically is, because I’ve listened to it nine times now and I’m showing no signs of getting bored of it, so it must be doing something right.
Tom: Really? I can’t see why. It’s nice enough, I suppose, but it’s so middle-of-the-road that it basically belongs on Radio 2’s playlist. And not even their A playlist, either. Maybe their C playlist at best.
Tim: I am at least now more interested than I previously was in their next album (imaginatively titled ‘Four’), so I suppose that’s good. OH, IT’S FINE – not amazing, but certainly not terrible, and definitely very listenable.
Tim: It’s an ambitious title for the new album’s lead single and film theme; are they genuinely claiming to be this good? (Spoiler: no.)
Tim: So, a song called Best Song Ever, and a video that may well make the shortlist for Worst Video Ever.
Tom: Crikey, that’s a video for the fans and no mistake. The actual track kicks in more than two minutes in. And, well, Zayn in drag is just confusing me.
Tim: Oh, well, what isn’t confusing about that? I will say, though, that they did a good make up job on Louis and Niall, so well done there. But as for the rest of it, man, what a group of utter arseholes they come across as.
Tom: I know, right? You ain’t Nirvana, and that ain’t your guitar.
Tim: OH, LOOK AT ME, I’M LIAM. I’M GOING TO KNOCK OVER A STATUE FOR NO REASON. OOH, LET’S ALL BE ROCK AND ROLL, LET’S CAUSE MEANINGLESS DESTRUCTION JUST BECAUSE WE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. Spare a thought for the poor people whose desks you kicked over, possibly, or whose paperwork you threw all over the place? No, of course you didn’t. You’re too busy being SELFISH and FAMOUS and FRIENDS WITH JAMES CORDEN and TOTAL UTTER BELLENDS and now you’ve FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE. You BIG GROUP OF DICKS.
Tom: As for the music…
Tim: Okay, I can calm down for the music. It’s a bit different, isn’t it?
Tom: Um. Not really? It sounds like most other One Direction tracks to me. And yet again, we’ve got someone ripping off Baba O’Riley for their intro! That’s more blatant than most.
Tim: Strange, isn’t it? I make that the third time we’ve seen that in barely a year. But if I were feeling charitable (a challenge, given the video), I’d say it’s less a rip-off but more an indicator of what’s coming up: we’ve (fortunately) left the intense boringness of Little Things far behind us, and instead have this, probably the most convincing sign yet that guitar music is on its way back. One Direction are going ROCK, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Tom: I mean, theoretically there’s a great number of ways, but most of them will end up with jail time.
Tim: True, so let’s leave that thought there and move on. It’s apparently Harry’s favourite of all they’ve done, although on Radio 1 he was clear to point out that they’re not yet Slipknot, which probably doesn’t really need saying but there you go.
Tom: Oh, now that I want to see. One Direction putting on masks and shouting into mics. Yes please. I imagine it’d sound something like this. Or maybe this.
Tim: That Justin Bieber one is apparently not available to view on mobile devices, which makes me incredibly glad I’ve only got my phone with me right now. To aid One Direction in their journey, they’ve pulled together songwriters behind such rock and roll masterpieces as Westlife’s Flying Without Wings and Queen Of My Heart, and Kate Winslet’s What If, who have in fact done a rather good job with this.
Tom: As they should: One Direction’s management have their pick of tracks and songwriters right now. If they put out a dud, something’s gone very, very wrong.
Tim: The lyrics display a slight lack of memory – “I think it went oh-oh-oh, I think it went yeah-yeah-yeah” when clearly it doesn’t – but we can just put that down to how much fun can be had when dancing, and otherwise the lyrics are first rate – “her daddy was a dentist, said I had a dirty mouth”.
Tom: We have a completely different definition of “first rate”. And that autotune on “Georgia Rose” – 3:28 in the video – is abysmal.
Tim: Really? I can’t hear that. But anyway, combining those lyrics with the aforementioned rather good tune (and ignoring the abhorrent video), I’m all for this.
Tim: Remember how on Wednesday we mentioned Leona Lewis’s version of Burn getting leaked, and I said that that’s something that often happens? Well, this was recorded back in December 2010, and would have been released had they not lost out to Matt Cardle.
Before you listen to it, know this: it sounds exactly like you think it’s going to sound.
Tom: Crikey, it does as well. That’s utterly, entirely predictable. Which, I suppose, is kind of the point. I might have been surprised by the key change, if it wasn’t for the rising strings that telegraphed it coming.
Tim: This is… ludicrous. Forever Young can justifiably be described as one of the best-known tracks of pretty much ever. Wikipedia lists it as being used in six TV shows, several films and a multitude of advert campaigns, and even if the young folk have never heard the original they’ve almost certainly heard that nonsense that Jay-Z made of it, or the cover that went huge thanks to The O.C., or possibly the German rap version.
Tom: Although probably not the German rap version.
Tim: I don’t know, maybe. But now…well, you know that thing where you type the beginning of a question into Google and get the LOLs from the suggestions? Type “forever young” into the YouTube search box, and take a look. Go on, I dare you.
Tom: Ouch. I got One Direction as the third option — and before Alphaville, who originally sang it.
Tim: Indeed. And you know what the worst thing is? The worst thing about the fact that this fairly limp cover version by a now-getting-somewhat-annoying boyband has become the second most searched for version of a once great song?
Tom: That it’s a pretty good track?
Tim: Bang on. I actually really like this, with the just good enough harmonies, the overblown strings, the key change and the 2 and 4 beat claps at the end. It’s fantastic. Syco may be one of the most ruinous music labels out there, but damn, they can come up with the goods.
Tim: This isn’t a current single; in fact, it’ll probably never be a single at all as it was an iTunes bonus track off their most recent album. However, let’s write about it now, because to be honest there’s not a lot of music I can find right now that seems worth covering after tracks that begin with a 7’8″ Ukrainian giant, but this is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNnpUtYcgVE
Tim: Top of the range pop music, I think you’ll agree.
Tom: When you’re the biggest boy band in the world, your team get the pick of every songwriter and producer in the world: even your iTunes album tracks are top-quality pop music.
Tim: Very true. A banging instrumental, a chorus with multiple memorable hooks in it and a basically nonexistent middle eight that automatically make the final section seem amazing. Top that off with lyrics about lipstick taste that are weirdly intimate, and you’ve got yourself a nearly flawless track, I reckon.
Tom: How do you compete with that? You have to step outside the formula: if you’re trying to be like One Direction, you can never quite match up. (We’re looking at you, Levine and Bannatyne.)
Tim: Weird side note: looking for this, I found a YouTube channel with “official” music videos for various One Direction album tracks such as this; they’re entirely fan made from actual footage of the band singing other songs, put together so it looks vaguely like they’re singing this. Some people are weird. Just, really weird.
