Tim: First new track since the really rather good Femme Fatale album; back then we were playing with dubstep, what’s up this time?
Tim: Ah. Generic EDM. Super.
Tom: Whoa, before we get to the music: what’s with that album cover? Something seems really… well, badly Photoshopped.
Tim: Well, it’s certainly a very narrow waist she’s got going on.
Tom: I know that’s to be expected, but her head doesn’t seem to fit quite onto her body, and the angle of her arm just seems… wrong. Either that’s a really awkward position, or there’s been some rather interesting editing done in post.
Tim: Looking at the mirror reflection, I’d tend towards the former, actually – like she’s leaning as far towards the camera as she possibly can whilst keeping her head tilted back and her arms on the side. You’re right, it is a bit odd.
Tom: Anyway, yes. This really is generic, isn’t it?
Tim: Yes, and very disappointing, for any number of reasons. Lyrics for one (Maserati/Bugatti is as lazy as they come, and you’re using it twice?), dullness of the backing for another, but the biggest one is simply two words: where’s Britney? This could be any singer at all – if it wasn’t Britney, this’d be a track by will.i.am (who is the producer BTW) feat. Vocalist.
Tom: Agreed. She’s talking for a good fraction of it, and what’s left is so distorted by vocoders and production that there’s not really any of her left.
Tim: She’s been one of the biggest pop sensations for all of the past fifteen years – why on earth is her personality almost entirely absent from an album’s lead single? Well, I say almost entirely – the middle eight is good. The middle eight is what the track should be. The middle eight, in fact, turns my reaction from a “what the hell is this?” to a “why the hell is this?”. This should be so, so much better. But it isn’t.