Tim: This song comes on our work playlist a couple of times each day, and every time I think the same two words to describe it: sickeningly chirpy.
Tom: You’d better not savage this song. I know damn well I like it.
Tim: I mean, listen to it.
Tom: I do. It’s lovely.
Tim: That awful ukulele throughout (with this video confirming what I’ve previously said: GROWN MEN SHOULDN’T HOLD THEM).
Tom: Okay, that’s fair. I’m going to describe that guy as “Discount Howie Mandel”.
Tim: The annoyingly saccharine lyrics – “I believe in you, like a beauty you’re Madonna”, “I want the world to see you with me”, and worst of all “my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest” WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THAT??
Tom: Huh. Yeah, that’s also fair. “A game show love connection” jumped out at me as well.
Tim: Oh, GOD, I’d not heard that. And there’s the video, which I wasn’t previously aware of but now passionately dislike, with the way he just dances around with no real idea in mind, reminiscent of Danny from The Script on Graham Norton.
Tom: Mmf. You’re starting to talk me around.
Tim: But the worst thing? The one single thing I hate about this song more than every other thing in it combined? It’s infectious.
Tom: Yep. There we go.
Tim: I hate it, but I can’t prevent myself from smiling, or tapping my feet.
Tom: Isn’t that middle eight just amazingly good, though?
Tim: Ugh. I’ve now listened to it a few times while writing this and NOW I’M HAPPY. I HATE THIS TRACK. I HATE TRAIN. THEY’RE UTTER BASTARDS. TOTAL, SICKENINGLY CHIRPY BASTARDS.
Tom: HEY SOUL SISTER, I DON’T WANNA MISS A SINGLE THING YOU DO.
Tim: Oh, sod off.