Tim: Of course Britney’s done a Christmas track. Way back at the start of her career, her label thought it’d be a good idea. Upsettingly there’s no video for it, but let’s have a listen…
Tom: Wow, they pushed the Christmas dial up to maximum on that from the very start, didn’t they?
Tim: They certainly did, and, while I’ve certainly heard worse, that’s a good minute and a half longer than it needs to be.
Tom: It’s like all the Britney and Christmas song clichés got mixed together. There’s even a “bay-beh, bay-beh” in there.
Tim: It is early Britney, recognisably so, and it pains me to say it’s not done all that brilliantly. It didn’t chart anywhere for the first eight years of it’s existence, and when it finally got going in 2008 it got to 34 in Denmark and 41 in Sweden. It finally hit the big time in America in 2011, sort of, climbing to the heady heights of 49 on the Holiday Charts, and the highest it’s ever climbed was 24, in, erm, South Korea.
Tom: That’s a resounding “meh” if ever I heard one, particularly for an artist of that scale.
Tim: So yes. Entirely generic Christmas muzak, really, which no-one would ever really choose to buy but might just make it onto the occasional compilation. Eight of them, in this case.
Finally, speaking of compilations, there are a lot of Christmas ones out there, but I don’t think I’ve every come across one where I didn’t know a single song. Until this one. And since there’s not a lot on right now, shall we explore it? Yes. YES WE BLOODY WELL SHALL.
Tom: Oh dear. Brace yourself, reader.