Emly Clausen – Touch Me (All Over)

“Part of me hoped Pitbull will rock up halfway through and start blathering vaguely offensive platitudes.”

Tom: That is a very… direct title.

Tim: Isn’t it just? Emly’s new and off Sweden, bringing us this dance track – you can ignore the first minute or so of this video, unless you fancy a narrative that’s completely and entirely unrelated to the song, or indeed the rest of the video, in which she pleasingly subscribes to the Tim Jeffries style of dancing.

Tim: That is some very impressive flailing around in that dress on the beach, I must pay compliments to it. Musically – oh, it’s very early 2010s, and it would appear that that’s now where level 1 of nostalgia is seated for me.

Tom: Oh blimey, you’re right. This is like Piña Colada Boy, only it’s taking itself way, way, way too seriously.

Tim: Hahaha, it is and all, and I won’t deny that through this part of me hoped Pitbull will rock up halfway through and start blathering vaguely offensive platitudes.

Tom: Here’s a weird thing: I think that would actually improve the track. Because right now, there’s just not enough going on.

Tim: Production-wise, it’s from the same pair of producers that brought us the entirely generics and forgettable Light It Up and…well, there are similarities. It’s generic, there’s nothing massively special about it, but I would happily lose my nut to it on the dance floor.

Tom: Phrasing.

Tim: Perhaps – but it’s what she’s doing, and I like that.