Tim: Last week, Hera took centre stage trying to be at Eurovision 2009; this week, she’s at Eurovision 2008, but as the centre-left backing singer. The lead male, by the way, is apparently not Neil Patrick Harris, but I’m not sure.
Tom: You’re not wrong, he’s like Neil Patrick Harris done in Lego. And yet again, I’d have placed this a good decade earlier than it actually appeared.
Tim: I think I may be on a late-’00s Eurodance high right now, because damn, will it ever make a resurgence? I do hope so, because it was a lot of fun while it lasted. The number of wonky and spinning-out camera shots in here alone sells it for me.
Tom: Full marks for him for a convincing dive out of the way of the steadicam, too.
Tim: All in all, a very fun track; came mid-table in the end, in the same year we came dead last with that god-awful Andy Abrahams track, which I’m not even going to link to because I don’t want to be responsible for you hearing it. Basically, we should be Iceland.
Tim: Almost time to start going through this year’s Eurovision rejects, but first let’s take a trip back to 2009. Hera herself may be Icelandic, but why not at least try for Denmark anyway?
Tom: That takes a long time — perhaps too long — to kick in, but it’s worth it when it does.
Tim: A number of wonderful things here – the way the backing singers appear with a level of gravitas that might be appropriate if the curtain wasn’t entirely transparent but as it is is entirely undeserved.
Tom: I actually burst out laughing at that. It’s like they’re stepping out of the back of a shop from the 1980s.
Tim: The catherine wheel that kicks off at the key change that gets out of control, keeps accelerating until it can’t give any more and just splurges out; and then the rest of it – the so, so ’00s dance beat that jumps in for the chorus —
Tom: I was quite surprised this was as late as 2009: if it wasn’t for the widescreen shot, I’d have placed this somewhere around ten years earlier.
Tim: — the aforementioned key change, and of course Hera herself. Oh, what a wonderful woman.
Tim: Last week Nicky off Westlife was announced as being the one to compete for Ireland in Eurovision, and since you like to steer clear of Eurovision tracks, this’ll do because to be honest I’m surprised we’ve not covered it before.
Tim: It’s a cover of a song by American band Daughtry; the original is here but before you click that be aware that (a) it’s a charity video and really rather depressing and (b) it sounds EXACTLY THE SAME. There is literally not a semiquaver’s difference in them – instruments, even the vocals are fairly similar. Fairly sure you could set them playing at the same time, with one in the left ear and one in the right, and you wouldn’t think anything of it at all – I won’t test that, mind, because it’s a right faff for a predetermined conclusion, but if anyone’s bored, that’s a Sunday afternoon project for you.
Tom: I can see why they chose it, though: it’s an astonishingly good chorus. I mean, it’s not as good a track as this other What About Now, but it’ll do.
Tim: So, it’s an unnecessary cover, especially since it was released only a couple of months after the original got to number 11 over here, but on the other hand: it’s a really, really good track anyway, worthy of a cover; it has a lovely video, thanks to the wonders of Iceland; and it was Westlife who performed it at the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize concert in honour of Barack Obama, so there you go.
Tom: And to be fair: it’s a belter, albeit with slow verses. Inspired choice to come back from the middle eight in a minor key and then slam it back into top gear with the final chorus, though.
Tim: Well done them, then.
Tim: UPDATE: One of our readers, Wouter, has been in touch, having put the two tracks together, and yes – they really are the same, save for a “uhhhh” from Westlife after the first chorus and a bit of extra guitar twiddling in the final chorus from Daughtry. You can hear excerpts here: Daughtry’s in the left channel, Westlife’s in the right.
Tim: Yelle, a French band we’ve covered before; this track, from 2011 which in its original version is a bit shouty and unpleasant. Madeon, the producer who had a go at this before he got famous, so probably when he was about 12 or something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyARHscb8mU
Tom: Oh hey, that sounds exactly like what I’d expect from Madeon. (Which, given it’s an early track from him, perhaps isn’t surprising.) Rapid-fire samples running into a solid dance remix.
Tim: I found it via a suggested playlist entitled “Run Far, Run Fast” on a streaming service; it’s good, isn’t it? Keeps the chorus from the original along with binning off the spoken and irritating verses, and sticks a quick genre-shift almost in a funk direction.
Lovely all round, and the video on top’s just a bonus, really. If I ever do start start running again: it’s right there with me.
Tom: Although I wouldn’t recommend doing that massive jump down a 45-degree hill. That’s just dangerous.
Tim: HAH! I LAUGH in the face of…actually, yeah, you’re probably right.
Tim: Next in the line of Christmas albums from years gone past – Barenaked Ladies brought out Barenaked for the Holidays in 2011; for this they teamed up with a just getting started Michael Bublé, who had yet to establish his position as King of Christmas.
Tom: Huh! I like Barenaked Ladies, and I’ve not got anything against Mickey Bubbles. Let’s have a listen.
Tim: And it’s full of workplace resentment, because how much more festive can you get?
Tim: And just like that, the image of happily toiling elves gets chucked out the window as quickly as a happy Santa did the moment the Killers came along.
Tom: It took me until about the second verse to work that out, because it sounds like such a happy song.
Tim: Let’s be honest: they have a point. Spending all year working in a factory just because of what you are, producing millions of toys that, as stated, may well have been discarded within hours of being received. It’s upsetting, really, and to be honest I think we should be thanking these guys for bringing attention to this sad state of affairs, trying to prevent us all falling for the pro-Santa propaganda of films like Elf and Arthur Christmas. SHAME ON YOU, Hollywood, for giving in to the fat man.
Tom: But never mind all that: because this is a lovely song! This is classic-era Barenaked Ladies, with an extra guest vocalist. Not sure I like the cheesy outro, but hey, it’s Christmas. I can live with it. And I know it doesn’t count for the “will this lift Tom’s humbug spirit” contest, because it’s an old one — but this got pretty damn close.
Tim: Okay so here’s the thing. I’ve absolutely no idea why, but when I’d finished watching the Hurts video that we featured on Tuesday, one of the suggested videos that popped up was a 75 minute collection of a load of Russian pop songs. I clicked on it, because why not, and this was the first of them.
Tom: I’m going to call them “Discount Vin Diesel and the Dads”.
Tim: Probably a valid translation. Now, as I write this I’m still on a bit odd a high after yelling out that Hurts chorus at the top of my lungs and so when this started playing I got into a fit of giggles – looking at it objectively and seriously I may find it ridiculous or just plain terrible, but I’m fairly sure it’s more along the lines of a fairly decent eastern European Eurovision entry, and right now I’m really rather enjoying it.
Tom: That’s a Proper Russian Singing Voice there: not much more I can say about that. It’s… well, it’s not going to get on my playlist, but I can see why it startled you into listening.
Tim: Background info, should you wish to know more: Denis Maidan (or alternatively Денис Майданов), for his part, is apparently a fairly prolific composer and songwriter; Bayan Mix (Баян Микс) are a duo of two guys called Voytenko and Khramkov, and are responsible for the accordions. Stuff’s all on YouTube, and I may well find myself seeking out more of it at a later date; in the meantime, on with the remaining 72 minutes!
Tim: BUSTED ARE PROPERLY BACK!!! So let’s take a trip back, shall we, with this track, whose translates to “Hooray, Hooray, The School Is Burning”?
Tom: I… haven’t heard of this one? Mind you, I don’t think I’ve heard of most of Busted’s tracks.
Tim: Well, to be honest, I’d be astounded if you had heard of it. An explanation, then: this is one of the few covers they ever released, originally a 1981 track by German punk band Extrabreit. Busted got hold of it, translated it pretty accurately, and then, for reasons lost in the midsts of time, released it in Germany, Austria and Switzerland instead of You Said No, which the rest of the world got. It didn’t stay there, of course – fans elsewhere got wind of it and duly loved it, and it was then stuck as a B-side to Crashed The Wedding. (Whether or not German speakers got You Said No as their B-side is also unknown.)
Tom: This is actually pretty damn good. I wasn’t expecting that. As their sort-of-pop-punk goes, it’s a really strong track.
Tim: I think the look on the janitor’s face at the end says everything that needs to be said about this track, and his immediate inspiration to Busted-jump around with his broom. God, I’ve missed it. HURRA HURRA SIE SIND ZURÜCK!
Tom: It’s taken me three songs to realise that “Suite 16” is a pun on “Sweet 16”. I have no idea how I failed to notice this. I guess I never said it out loud.
Tim: Well, if it’s any consolation I didn’t get it the first time round. But first up here, an admission of error: on Wednesday I said that Who I Wanna Be was Suite 16’s second single; in fact, this one was, which came out about six months ago and completes the trio of boyband songs: we’ve had the pop-punk and we’ve got the melty ballad coming later, but now the summer pop banger.
Tim: And (along with a lot of the girls in that video, quite probably) that’s one they actually nailed!
Tom: It is, but bloody hell those are some very close camera shots. I physically recoiled from my screen at one point. The five of them all next to each other, staring at a retreating camera? That’s got some full-on Invasion of the Body Snatchers vibes about it. Anyway: what works about it for you?
Tim: You’ve got your summer whistling, your easily discerned lyrics about how great the girl their singing to is, and speaking of lyrics, “A little bit of me, a little bit of you, a little bit of awesome when we are two” is simultaneously a godawful cheesy line to repeat forever and a brilliant cheesy line to repeat forever.
Tom: There’s an incredible amount of autotune in that middle eight, mind, and I’m not convinced it’s entirely for stylistic reasons.
Tim: You could very well be right there; on the other hand, though, the backing is such that it’s easy to click or clap along to, that harmony at the close of the middle eight is from page one of the boyband manual (which now I’ve dreamt it up is a book I really want someone to write), and you can never go wrong with a pile of “na na na na” and “ah ah ah ah”. Conclusion: it’s a great track, so if we keep up the almost good/great/almost good pattern, we could actually be successful here. Nice work.
Tom: By the way, the Boyband Manual might not be real, but you should definitely track down The Manual, by the KLF, if you haven’t already.
Tim: Hmm, well I do currently have about eighteen inches of unread books on my shelf; might bump that up the list though.
“What is happening two minutes into the video please?”
Tim: On Monday we had a track by Alexander that was for the most part very good but in some parts just awful. Today, we’ll have a track without that last bit.
Tim: Right, first thing first: what is happening two minutes into the video please? Because I know it’s choreography and everything, and they want the dancers to turn around, but does the guy really have to move his hand around so it looks exactly like he’s preparing to do a wee?
Tom: Oh blimey, I didn’t notice that at first, then I went back, and you’re right: it looks like they’re about to win the Nordic Synchronised Peeing contest, which I assume is a thing.
Tim: Well if not we should trademark it, because it could have potential. I don’t know why that leapt out at me, but anyway. Aurally, pretty good. Slightly egregious use of autotune, I’d say, but top marks for final chorus howling.
Tom: Come on, that’s a five-out-of-ten howl at best. It’s a solid track: Children of Tomorrow’s much better, were it not for that guitar.
Tim: You’re right – lose the guitar and that one’s a better track. This on its own, though: good enough as a decent dance track, and so let’s just hope that Children of Tomorrow is just a slight blip.
Tim: “But…why?” is the question I’m sure you’re answering. Have a listen, I’ll explain.
Tim: So, it’s time for celebration in the Basshunter household: last week this song finally went platinum in the UK! Eight years on from its initial release, enough people are still buying it for total sales to have climbed past 600,000. Mr Hunter himself was presumably delighted, or perhaps disappointed because he thought it already was.
Tom: Let’s not ignore that streaming count, either: 170 million views on YouTube is astonishing.
Tim: Certainly, though consideration must be given to the fact that the video, lest we forget, is the first chapter in the story of him and his girlfriend Ayla, continued in mostofhisothervideos; it doesn’t quite match the dramatic heights of American Horror Story so I can’t bring myself to watch through them to remember the story, but there’s probably heartbreak but then a happy ending and stuff. Whatever it is, CONGRATULATIONS!
