Saturday Reject – Page 14

Saturday Reject: Army of Lovers – Rockin’ The Ride

The most hyped song in this year’s Melodifestivalen.

Tim: This was, by quite a distance, the most hyped song in this year’s Melodifestivalen.

Tom: Man, ‘most hyped song’ is never a good place to be.

Tim: No. Some of it was inevitable – Army of Lovers haven’t performed or released any proper stuff for almost twenty years – but some they brought upon themselves, by promising it to be “Gangnam Style on crack.”

Tom: What – horse riding with more paranoia and jitters? Anyway, how’d this hyped-up AMAZING CHOON do?

Tim: First round knock-out.

Tom: What the hell was that?

Tim: You’ll no doubt recognise Alexander Bard —

Tom: More like Alexander Beard.

Tim: HAHAHAHAHA FUNNY! — previously of BWO and more recently of Gravitonas, as his image isn’t an easy one to forget. Much like this performance. The dancers in tight swimwear, weird headgear, her on the throne spouting incredible nonsense, and just all the other…things.

Tom: That’s the right word to use. Nothing really tied them together; there was no rhyme or reason there. They were just things.

Tim: Yes, and whether or not they lived up to the expectation, that was just the performance.

The song, sadly, just wasn’t all that. It’s not bad, but I get the feeling they were focusing more on putting out a crazy performance than singing a great song – trying to get watercooler folks saying “DID YOU SEE THAT?” rather than the more usual “DID YOU HEAR THAT?” that might be reserved for, say, Malena Ernman.

Tom: And they may well have achieved that – but it won’t be enough to win a song contest.

Tim: No. But could it have been at least enough to get them through to Andra Chansen? Perhaps, but there seems to be not much room this year for crazy stuff. I guess this just isn’t 2006 any more.

Saturday Reject: Brinck – Human

“Oh, right, he’s on a treadmill.”

Tim: Denmark again, but you may need to give this time.

Tom: Oh, right, he’s on a treadmill. That treadmill doesn’t actually appear in any camera shot until more than half way through the song. Before that it’s just a bit confusing. I was too busy trying to work that out, and I sort of forgot the song. Technically, that means I gave it time, but it didn’t seem to repay my investment.

Tim: Though the problem with a Eurovision song, of course, is that you can’t give it time – it has to hit you within, at most, the first minute. This song is, overall, and with a few listens, quite good, but it starts out like a bit of a dull dirge, and it doesn’t really begin to pick up for over a minute and a half, when that big drumbeat first appears.

Tom: And it ain’t even that big of a drumbeat. You need more oomph than that.

Tim: Right – it’s not until thirty seconds before the end that it actually starts working; at that point, it’s really quite good, but by then most of your target voting audience – the pop music fans – have long stopped paying attention to it. They’re either up pouring themselves another drink, or, more likely, discussing how much of a bellend you look like on that treadmill. All because you didn’t want to start off with a drumbeat.

Tom: You want to see a treadmill done properly? This is a treadmill done properly.

Tim: It is, but a breath-stealing sprint isn’t really the best to sing live to. All you do there is walk cockily and look like a tit.

Saturday Reject: Birgitta Haukdal – Meðal Andanna

“It turns into something of a Disney number.”

Tim: One of my favourites from the Icelandic final, and it’s like Eurovision from ten years ago has decided to pay us a visit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMX3bE5ZV30

Tom: When the instrumentation drops in – complete with twinkly chimes, no less! – it turns into something of a Disney number, if Disney liked synth-backed middle-eights and wind machines. Simple, major-key, with a style that seems almost aspirational – and a flowing white dress, too.

Tim: Yes, oh yes. Isn’t it lovely? It’s disappointing how few big schlager tracks we’ve had around this year, so it’s lovely to see that it really is alive and well in some quarters. Even with the Emperor from Star Wars being resurrected four times for backing singer duties, it’s a beautiful track.

Tom: I think perhaps they were going for more the “evil Disney crone” myself, but either way it does seem a bit odd.

Tim: The titles translates to “Among the Spirits”, and it’s basically about being lost in the darkness then finding her way home; I think she conveys that well enough, especially in the triumphant post-key change (THERE’S A KEY CHANGE!) final chorus.

Tom: Told you. Icelandic-Disney soundtrack.

Tim: It wouldn’t stand a chance of winning, mind, so from Iceland’s perspective it’s right that it didn’t go through, but, man, sometimes I pine for the days when Eurovision was all about the key change.

Tom: You and me both.

Saturday Reject: Swedish House Wives – On Top Of The World

“That’s a hell of a chorus.”

Tim: Where to go this week…ooh, let’s try Sweden. Sixth place, heat two of Melodifestivalen.

Tom: Ha! Swedish House Wives. I get it. That’s quite clever.

Tom: Oh, that’s a hell of a chorus.

Tim: Isn’t it just? So my question: sixth place! Why, sixth place? I mean, COME ON SWEDEN. What are you doing?

Tom: Listening to the versus?

Tim: Well, yes, alright. Admittedly, this song wasn’t as good as it should have been – after all, a group called Swedish House Wives clearly has the potential to be absolutely amazing, especially when you give them a song called On Top Of The World, and I’ll happily admit this wasn’t that. The verses are disappointing with a fairly generic backing and not much inspiration to them, but there’s still a great chorus.

Tom: That’s just not enough though – not for Melodifestivalen. It’s got to be perfect. Loreen-perfect.

Tim: I like the exit from the middle eight as well (although we all know what it’s missing – just imagine it at 2:26, “on top of the WORLD!”), and I’d have thought the dancing would be enough. So really, sixth? SIXTH?

Tom: Yep. Sixth.

Tim: Ugh.

Saturday Reject: Louise Dubiel – Rejs Dig Op

“Try and keep your legs still.”

Tim: Back to Denmark, and another demonstration of what a highlight that night was. And here’s a challenge for you: try and keep your legs still while you watch this. (Starts about a minute in.)

Tom: Hmm. My legs stayed still, but it’s still a good track.

Tim: So, the drums give it a bit of a military feel (and make it a great song to accompany a forceful walk), but her looking like that and the backing singers with their wo-oh-oh-ooh-oh give it so much more of a party atmosphere, and I think it’s brilliant.

It’s also ridiculously amazing to dance to – I didn’t really get it so much the first time I heard it, but listened to it whilst waiting for a bus home one night and realised that my legs, all of themselves, were trying to do some sort of dance to it.

Tom: Really? Sorry to fixate on this, but I can’t see this working in a club: the BPM might work for some kind of modern impressionistic dance, but at 1am with a drunk crowd?

Tim: Oh, you’re right there – in a club this wouldn’t really work at all because there’d be arms and heads flailing and that wouldn’t suit it.

But the other night, it might have been slightly because I was on my way home from seeing Singin’ In The Rain so felt in a slightly dancey mood, but since there was no-one else around I though “sod it” and did my damed hardest to tapdance the shit out of this song, and it was BRILLIANT.

Tom: “Tapdance the shit out of this song”. Tim ‘Fred Astaire’ Jeffries, there.

Tim: Oh, and then there’s the key change.

Tom: It’s a good key change.

Saturday Reject: Finn Martin – Change

“At times actually quite sinister.”

Tim: The first act up on Germany’s Unser Song Für Malmö, and the one that made me immediately realise I’d made the right choice by shirking off Valentine’s Day to watch it.

Tim: When I first heard the song, and started writing this, I though it was a lovely track. Charming, happy, backed up by lots of colours and hippies beating on barrels. Then I listened to the lyrics, and realised it’s one of the most topical and politically charged Eurovision songs since We Don’t Wanna Put In, and at times actually quite sinister.

Tom: Now, that’s a big claim – it’s a lot less charged than ‘Put In’ was, being more of the generic 60s-free-love let’s-all-be-happy type rather than calling for active political movement. But yes, it’s not really the charming, meaningless pop it’s made to look like.

Tim: Free-love, let’s-all-be-happy? Check out the look in his eyes with that first close up. At first I took to be happiness, but then the lyrics make it all a bit dodgier: he’s singing “I read the signs, 99%, in the blink of an eye the money’s all spent.” His mouth is smiling, but his eyes are saying “look at this sparkly glint, you rich bastard, you think I’m happy singing but I’m actually enjoying imagining the moment when I march into your office and rip your bollocks right off”.

Then, a few seconds later, there’s that exact same look when he’s singing “waiting, waiting…a new day is dawning, we are the change”, and I’ve realised that that sentence I just wrote as a joke is pretty much exactly what’s on his mind.

Tom: Oh good, I’m glad it’s not just me that read his expression as being somewhat sinister.

Tim: In a way, it’s a shame he sung this in English; if it were in German I could imagine it getting traction over the two weeks it was played on the radio and end up higher placed, maybe even actually winning. As it is, it only came 9th out of 12; at least, THAT’S WHAT WE’RE TOLD. We’re meant TO BELIEVE THAT. We’re told by THE ESTABLISHMENT, who clearly DON’T WANT THE TRUTH HEARD. VIVA LA REVOLUCION! (or whatever the German for that is.)

Tom: Well, that’s us on the Illuminati’s watch list.

Saturday Reject: Anton Ewald – Begging

“Arguably, just as standard as all the others.”

Tim: We mentioned last week the prevalence of dance music in this year’s Melodifestivalen and how tracks had to be very good to succeed; this is one that succeeded, or at least got through to the final via Andra Chansen.

Tim: This track is, arguably, just as standard as all the others. It’s a good tune, sure, but there’s nothing really special about the track that elevates it musically above the rest, although the genre-shifted breakdown’s provides a bit of relief.

Tom: The synths in that chorus seem to be rather close to Taio Cruz’ “Dynamite“, too – although from a vote-winning perspective, that could be seen as a good thing.

Tim: What’s less of a good thing, votes-wise, is the somewhat shoddy vocal performance, and the backing that wouldn’t be there to help him in May.

Tom: Yep, the note as he came out of the middle eight was… well, let’s charitably say that it wasn’t really up to the Eurovision final’s exacting standards.

Tim: It does have two big things for it, though: a singer that a lot of girls and no small amount of guys would love to take home with them, and (most importantly) some proper atmosphere. There are big lights, and there is a lot of smoke, so anybody watching can immediately translate that to a heaving, sweaty nightclub full of smoke and lights and picture themselves dancing to it whilst drunk off their tits. Eddie Razaz, discussed last week, didn’t really have that same quality to it – it was a dance track being performed on stage, but only that – and I’m guessing that’s why this one got as far as it did.

Saturday Reject: Eddie Razaz – Alibi

“It’s the one I miss the most in the final.”

Tom: Our regular reader Roger sends in this track from Melodifestivalen. He was there for the live show in Skellefteå, and says the song “did not hit me immediately, but now it’s the one I miss the most in the final.”

Tim: Yes, I remember this one, and also not being particularly enthused; I’ve not listened to it since, though, so let’s have a listen.

Tim: Hmm. Still can’t say it really catches me as a song that needed to qualify.

Tom: The odd effect you can hear on the vocals is him singing not-quite-in-time with a backing-vocal copy of himself – it doesn’t seem to be harmonised, which is strange. It’s a lovely chorus – and a long one, with several different parts to it. I’m not sure the verses would be quite good enough to cover it, but since there doesn’t seem to be much verse to speak of anyway that’s a minor quibble.

Tim: You’re right on all of that, but I mentioned when we were discussing Janet Leon (from the same heat, incidentally) a few weeks back that there was a lot of generic EDM in this year’s competition – anything of the genre would need to really stand out in order to qualify. This, well, didn’t. A decent song, but in a crowded pool.

Saturday Reject: Ben Ivory – The Righteous Ones

“I’m not sure what it was that made me really like it”

Tim: This is from Germany, and it was one of my favourite tracks of the night. Quick warning: it’s straight-up drum’n’bass, so I wasn’t initially going to post it, but since you brought us Hadouken! yesterday, I figured why not.

Tom: Hey, there’s plenty of good drum and bass out there. There’s plenty of crap drum and bass, too. Which one’s this?

Tom: Okay, I hate to be the genre-pedant, but I’m not sure this is drum and bass. Let’s stick with ‘electronica’, or just ‘pop’. This ain’t got a patch on Pendulum.

Tim: Fair enough. That’s the actual video for the song, there; the Unser Song Für Malmö performance left a bit to be desired, as the vocal wasn’t quite as intense as it should have been, although it was proper lasers o’clock in the arena.

Tom: I want a laser-based alarm clock now. 8am, time to wake up, BEDROOM RAVE.

Tim: I’m not sure what it was that made me really like it – partly it was the lasers, and partly it was the Revenge of the Nerds vibe to the lyrics. Mostly, though, I think it was just that I was in the get-up-and-jump-around mood for drum’n’bass – I’d been slightly over-excited since I realised the ridiculousness of starting my Valentine’s Day evening watching the German business news (and since you ask, Nestlé stocks were on the way up, and there was something about Heinz as well).

Tom: Interesting. Can’t say I’m feeling it myself – is it the same for you now you’re not “in the moment”, so to speak?

Tim: Actually, yes – watching it back three weeks later I can’t get quite as excited about it, but I still think it’s a good track, and I’d actually have quite liked to see it in Malmö – it’d certainly have been more interesting than Cascada.

Saturday Reject: Amanda Fondell – Dumb

It’s not hard to see why it came seventh.

Tim: This is good. Very good. But it’s not hard to see why it came seventh in its Melodifestivalen heat.

Tim: I spent at least the first ninety seconds, maybe even two minutes, of this trying to work out what was going on. Not that it’s particularly weird – it’s just so dark that it really just doesn’t seem right. The cracked mirrors, the spikes on her fingers, the expression on her face that’s a mix of deranged and psychopathic. The minor key, the underlying strings that come from a horror film soundtrack.

Tom: You know, I think I could really like this track if it wasn’t for that “dun-dun-dun-dun” in the chorus. That sticks out like a rusty upturned nail on a park bench. And perhaps that middle-eight, where she sounds a bit like a low-rent Bjork. The rest of the track’s cracking, though.

Tim: It’s not particularly surprising – this is, after all, the same singer who provided us with Bastard, wonderfully insulting but not remotely happy – but it sticks out emotionally so much that once you’ve zoned out to it and are able to appreciate it it’s pretty much finished. Technically that means it’s a good thing that it got knocked out, as it would probably bomb in Malmö, but it’s really a shame because it is a fantastic track that was just misplaced.

Agreed: that bell-filled final chorus is amazing, but it’d never take Eurovision.