Tim: Oh, no, really?
Tom: Disappointingly, this not a PSY cover. Even more disappointingly, I think they’re trying to rap?
Tim: I don’t like this at all. It’s awful, it really is. (Though to be honest I can’t imagine anything good coming from a PSY cover either.)
Tom: Tim, I think this might have to be one of those songs where we just list everything that’s wrong with it.
Tim: Hmm. Well, we’ll start and keep going until the internet runs out.
Tom: The overly-repeated, appallingly bad sort-of-rapped chorus.
Tim: The “let’s name actors! And rappers! And singers! And politicians! And other men!” game they’re playing in the middle eight.
Tom: The poorly-lit greenscreen and clunkingly product-placed video.
Tim: And dear God, that terrible acting. I don’t expect Oscar-winning levels in a music video, but still.
Tom: “So 1999.”
Tim: “I need a Ryan Gos-a-ling”
Tom: I mean, basically, everything about it. Mainstream pop can be so, so much better than this.