Darude feat. AI AM – Beautiful Alien

“I question whether that’s a ‘new’ tune.”

Tim: Yes, Darude, of Sandstorm and Feel The Beat megafame, back with a new tune. He had a few more recent hits in his native Finland back around 2007, but now this is getting a multinational push, presumably hoping for the same level of success.

Tom: I question whether that’s a “new” tune.

Tim: First for me, a wondering: for someone whose two biggest hits have had either no vocal at all or just a single line, the amount of vocals seems a bit weird. There’s next to no focus at all on the dance bit, despite the multiple builds up to an a cappella “beautiful alien” that almost yearns to be followed by a good thirty seconds or so of massive dance stuff.

Tom: I suppose that’s a side effect of Avicii and his farm-house style: you’re expected to have Big Vocals now.

Tim: Admittedly it’s nowhere short on big beats, but the vocal focus seems surprising. Second, a complaint of sorts: all the Darude-sounding stuff that we enjoyed fifteen years ago is there, but nearly almost entirely recycled. The part beneath the intro is identical to Sandstorm, as the the underlying part that surrounds the two minute mark.

Tom: Yep, agreed: this is the same thing Sash tried with Encore Une Fois: add a new vocal, keep some of the instrumentation, see if people will buy it. It’ll probably do about as well.

Tim: I suppose the argument might be that he wants to keep a similar sound but bring it up to date, which is technically correct, but ideally it’d be by combining two, rather than having half identical and half largely unlike the previous, almost more or a mashup of two tracks than a whole new one. I don’t know, I quite like it; it’s just not remotely what I wanted a Darude comeback track to be.

Tommy Fredvang – Give It A Year

“You’re better off without that flaming cockwomble.”

Tim: It’s a classic story: hook up at a new year’s party, stay together for a while, break up.

Tom: An insight into the life of Tim, there.

Tim: Perhaps, but I, along with most people, would accept that; not our Tommy, though.

Tim: Tommy, you see, wants to almost hit a milestone. He’s not too bothered about making it a full year, just as long as they can keep it going until December. Which makes me think he’s a bit of a dick, really, and I’ll tell you my reasoning. See, if he was going for twelve months, he could have a nice thing about a great year, full anniversary, that sort of thing, which might be slightly acceptable, in a weird way. But no – all he wants to do is make it to some point in December, and what sort of goal is eleven months?

Tom: That’s pretty much what I was figuring. Who on earth says “yes, I’ve hurt you, but we’ve been together for ten months now, so I should at least keep making you miserable until we hit a round number”?

Tim: The only explanation is that he’s got a bet on with a mate, seeing who can last the longest with a girl, he’s only got a few weeks left to go before he’s won, and that’s all he wants her for.

Tom: He can sing though. In all seriousness: with different lyrics, and maybe a bit more production tweaking on that final chorus, this could be a cracking track.

Tim: Perhaps, but until then: seriously, love, stay out. You’re better off without that flaming cockwomble.

Kygo feat. Parson James – Stole The Show

“You wait for the drop, and you wait some more, and then…”

Tim: You wait for the drop, and you wait some more, and then…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gk_hf_AtA0

Tim: Not really what you were expecting, was it?

Tom: Good heavens, no. But it’s absolutely brilliant.

Tim: Most would go for a big drumbeat, Avicii would put some hefty country stuff down, but the Norwegian Kygo here seems rather keen on the old woodwind, and to be honest that’s a novelty I have no problems with at all.

Tom: It really does work well: I’m not sure I’d dance to it, but it’s a track that I can see on a lot of driving and working playlists. The word that comes to mind, for some reason, is “smooth”, and I think it’s down to the vocals.

Tim: Right – the verses, which would typically have us going OH JUST PLEASE GET ON WITH IT, I really like as they are, because Parson here sings with a rather lovely voice, which, combined with the pleasant enough backing underneath stops it being too boring. All in all: nice track, pleasingly surprising.

Madeon – Home

“…is pretty much exactly what I expected.”

Tim: Madeon’s releasing his first album in a few weeks’ time; here’s the new track from it.

Tom: It’s been a long time coming, but the tracks he’s released in the past have generally been good. This one…

Tom: …is pretty much exactly what I expected.

Tim: It always feels like I’m doing an artist a disservice if I ever say “don’t get bored, wait for it”, which is why I didn’t earlier; typically it’d imply that the verse is dull but the chorus more or less makes up for it. Here, though, well, yes, the first verse can get a bit tedious once you’ve got over the pleasant-but-not-all-that-interesting bottom line, especially if you’re not a fan of his vocals, but the chorus made me sit up and really go “whoa” and remember who I was listening to.

Tom: Yep. Same reaction here.

Tim: After that, sure, there was the obligatory dip for the second verse, but that was kept nice and short and then it’s hefty and hard-hitting all the way from two minutes onwards, with a by and large very good track.

Tom: It’s… well, yes, it’s not bad at all. I’m going to do my standard complaint about overcompression here, though: this is full-on wall of noise, and you can actually hear every other instrument dip when there are big percussion hits. Normally that doesn’t bug me, but here the effect’s been dialled up so high that, for me at least, it’s a little bit tiring to listen to. But yes: the track itself does exactly what it’s supposed to do.

Tim: So let’s have that album, please.

Loreen – Paper Light (Higher)

“I’m really not sure what I think of it.”

Tim: New one off the Eurovision winner, unveiled just in time to be performed on Melodifestivalen’s Andra Chansen show, with one of the weirdest performances I’ve seen there. But here’s the proper version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gce8U1-JWew

Tim: And…and I’m really not sure what I think of it.

Tom: I opened this in a background tab, and I’ll be honest: I couldn’t make out a single one of those lyrics until I actually looked at it. I genuinely didn’t think it was in English.

Tim: I’ve listened to it a good seven or eight times now, over the past few days, and still I’m having trouble forming an opinion; from that, I reckon I can derive two facts: I don’t hate it, and I don’t love it.

Tom: I’m not sure my brain recognises it as “pop music”. It’s verging into the experimental.

Tim: I think it’s the fact that it’s a fairly complex song – you’ve got your standard vocal, which is pretty good, over the light piano instrumental, also good. But then you’ve the chorus, which has the dance part to it, but also has that pitch-shifted vocal, which is where things become unsure for me. What do you reckon?

Tom: Ultimately, we’re a blog about Europop here, and I just can’t count it as being good pop. Musically, it may well be extremely interesting — but I don’t want to listen to it again, and that’s what I’ve got to score it on.

TDK feat. Robin Sternberg – Let Me Dance With You

“Desperation, unpleasantness and downright lechery.”

Tim: In this context, a dance producer rather than a manufacturer of cassette tapes.

Tom: I was going to ask.

Tim: And it’s Robin’s turn to feature on a BIG DANCE TRACK, following other tracks with various other artists.

Tim: Starting out a bit like a mid-00s indie band, this gives that up fairly quickly, which is nice, because as a dance track it’s really quite good.

Tom: I know – when you said BIG DANCE TRACK, I wasn’t expecting that intro. You’re right, it’s quite good as a dance track; I doubt it’s going to be a full-on floorfiller, but it wouldn’t stop me dancing.

Tim: Lyrically, though – oh no. Come on Robin, you’re a Eurovision popstar, you shouldn’t need to spend three and a half minutes singing and/or shouting at a girl, because with this amount of insistence and desperation you’re not far away from sounding like Jedward in terms of desperation, unpleasantness and downright lechery.

Tom: It’s possible to pull this off successfully — but not with this amount of repetition.

Tim: On the other hand,… actually, no – can’t really think of any redeeming quality to those lyrics. Decent music, though, so can we have an instrumental remix? And then a mashup with some completely different lyrics? OK THANKS BYE.

Alexia Divello feat. Daniella – Children of the Sun

“Oh, you lied to me, Tim. You lied to me.”

Tim: So here’s this, a summery dance track by a Swedish producer featuring a Swedish singer that’s possibly four months early but never mind, because you’re going to love this chorus.

Tom: Oh, you lied to me, Tim. You lied to me. Why would you do that?

Tim: Ahaha, I guess I’m just that kind of great guy.

And why not like it? Let’s face it, there’s nothing I like more when I’m pissed and on the dance floor trying to hook up with someone than a load of kids shouting about being children.

Tom: It’s not like it even works well, either: it’s not even a loud choir, it just sounds like someone hasn’t recorded the vocals properly.

Tim: It is weird: as though they didn’t really want to commit to it, so they did half a kids’ choir and half the normal and hope it would please everyone.

The ‘criticism just because it’s kids’ thing possibly a tad unfair, mind, as there are probably many successful dance tracks that have used child vocals; right now I’m having trouble thinking of one, though.

Tom: Even Robert Miles’ Children didn’t actually use children. Don’t do it, folks.

Tim: Anyway, the rest of it’s not bad – a nice euphoric number with a fairly unusual three-part chorus, decent beat, decent melody, and decently put together lyric video.

Tom: If you count “generic, repeated stock footage” as “decently put together”, then, yeah, sure.

Tim: Snarkiness aside: I’m all for this. BRING ON THE SUN.

Tom: Yep. Just ban anyone under 18.

mind.in.a.box – Synchronize

“That really is quite the vocoder.”

Tom: Michelle sends this in, describing it as “cyberpunk synthpop”–

Tim: Oooh, that’s new.

Tom: Well, more like “from the mid-90s”, but clearly it’s new to you.

Tim: Oh.

Tom: Anyway, Michelle adds a warning that the vocoder they use is a bit cheesy.

Tim: That…that really is quite the vocoder.

Tom: Okay, minor video gripe here first: can we stop it with the digital displays that just show slowly moving zeros and ones? I know they’re going for a 90s cyberpunk theme, but we’ve moved so far past that.

Tim: Unless, keeping with a cyberpunk theme, it’s an encoded message. But I don’t remotely care enough to type everything out to find out.

Tom: And how on earth you’re meant to solder something with that much flashing light going on, I’ve got no idea. ANYWAY. The music. I basically sent this to you because that’s a really good chorus.

Tim: It’s a fantastic chorus, it really really is, though almost to the detriment of the rest of it – I already found the synthed vocal line irritating (if it’s turned up so far you can’t make out the words, just don’t bother), but having heard the chorus I have another reason for wanting the fairly dull verse to get out of way.

Tom: Yes, the vocoder’s turned up way too high, yes, the choruses aren’t all that inspiring, but that’s the kind of synthpop chorus that I rather like, and it’s rather nice that the genre’s still producing things like that even if it’s extremely unlikely they’re going to make it to the mainstream.

Tim: It is. It’s reminiscent of some of the later tracks on the dance compilation CDs I went through a phase of buying about a decade ago, in a great, great way.

Avicii – The Nights

“What a smug bastard.”

Tim: FARMHOUSE!

Tom: Well, that is certainly a farmhouse track. In fact, I think I might go so far to say as being a bit of a lazy farmhouse track. I know his fans slated him for moving from more traditional EDM to this, but… well, I can’t help feeling that it might be time to move on a bit further.

Tim: Yeah, though the genre splurge has just about started to work for me now, so let’s not get too radical. In the video here, we see young Tim being thoroughly irresponsible and enjoying himself.

Tom: Yes. Despite my feeling a bit bored by the formula, clearly it’s a formula that works for him.

Tim: It does, and my main thought watching this is: what a smug bastard, with his good looks and lovely hair and all that money and talent and now just enjoying himself, making excellent dance music and rubbing his success in our faces. Ugh. Sickening, really, isn’t it?

Tom: It’s a heck of a bragging video, isn’t it? All the highlights of what you can get with enormous amounts of cash. Yes. Well done there.

Tim: I get to watch that and go and get on the tube back to my job after being on holiday and YAY how great that’ll be… Again, what a smug bastard.

Chocolate Puma feat. Kris Kiss, Shystie & Roya – Step Back (Get Down)

“…and then it stays terrible.”

Tom: The first few seconds of this, you’re going to think “why has Tom sent me this, it sounds terrible”. And then it’ll start to build, and build, and then…

Tim: …and then it stays terrible.

Tom: I was not expecting that, and it took me about two minutes into the track to get used to it.

Tim: I was, after the disappointment following that initial build, and then it kept going.

Tom: And here’s the thing: based on the accent of the vocals, the style of the music, and the video, I assumed this was some newly-discovered producer out of one of the less-poncy bits of London. Nope. Completely and utterly wrong.

Tim: Yes, yes it is. You don’t remember I Wanna Be U?

Tom: Chocolate Puma is in fact two Dutch producers called — and I swear I’m not making this up — Gaston and René, who’ve been in the business for more than 20 years and who look more like they’re trying out to be extras in a Guy Ritchie gangster film.

Tim: Oh that much I didn’t know. Doesn’t change my opinion of this track, though.

Tom: Now, I suspect that’s actually more interesting than the song, which — I reckon — is a serviceable dance track.

Tim: Eehhhh, maybe. In certain clubs, but it’s not going to go mainstream any time soon, pleasingly for me.

Tom: It’s probably not going to be a floorfiller in the UK without a decent remix, but I reckon it’ll find a decent audience for itself.